The Goodest Good You Are Ever Gonna Get

Sometimes I feel as if I just cannot help but be easily agitated and short. I often feel as if I'm over-mature, so when I get to the time when I am sitting around at Starbucks with my two best guy friends trying to study, I just cannot help but get upset at them for no reason, or at least stupid reasons. Perhaps it's the fact that they're not studying as much as they could be. Perhaps it's the fact that they are laughing and it's obnoxious and I invited them there to study. Or perhaps it's because they are sitting too close or being too loud or just being too annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love those guys more than anything; they're my best buds, and best buds - brothers - stick together through thick and thin. It's easy for me to say that even when they annoy me or drive me crazy, I still love 'em all the same. Yet, I just cannot help myself at being easily annoyed with them at points and times.

Let me paint a picture for you: I sit with my laptop to my left, my psychology textbooks open to my right and my notebook full of psych notes in front of me. I have my assortment of colored pens close-by, so I can color coat away. My warm caramel bruleé latte is right in front of me so that I may admire the gorgeousness of the cup and the delicious smell. Everything is going good, until all hell breaks loose that is. It starts with one of my guy friends plopping himself down beside me. He is loud and throws his backpack on the ground and instantly my whole atmosphere is thrown off. He is sitting too close, he is being too noisy, he is throwing off my studying groove. Until he had arrived, my other guy friend and I had been a little talkative, but quiet and scholarly. That's when things start to really get interesting. Because there are now two guys around versus one, they begin to interact. They laugh loudly, joke around and when I just want one moment to watch a movie trailer, they keep peering over at me and crowding me. So, guess what my dear, sweet sinful self does? I lose it. I say angrily: "Could you please mind your own business and stop looking at my things? Perhaps you could study and actually do something instead of just sitting around." I scoot my chair farther away from him, wanting as much space to breathe as possible. I never apologize, but as the day goes on, I feel the sinking feeling in my stomach that I have done something horribly wrong. As you can see, I had no ounce of goodness in me in that moment.

Goodness was the sixth Fruit of the Spirit that I learned about. The Sunday school teachers explained to us that goodness was being nice to others and generous. For example, if we had two cookies we could share one. Or if we saw a new person we could play with them and introduce ourselves. To kids, goodness didn't really seem all that hard. I mean, it wasn't too hard to make a new friend...but sharing cookies was a whole different story. But nowadays for me, goodness is buying a coworker a coffee for no reason. Goodness is being kind to people that sometimes annoy you. Goodness is offering to help buy somebody lunch because they don't have enough money. Goodness is welcoming a new person at church. Has goodness changed for you too?

The dictionary says that goodness means to be kind or generous; having virtue. I believe that that is a fair description of goodness. If I had reacted to the Starbucks situation with the dictionary's version of goodness, maybe I would've apologized or not said anything at all. But...sometimes the dictionary's ways are not the Godly ways. The Bible says:

"As we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:10

What the Bible is saying about goodness, is that we should always be good. The Bible depicts goodness as serving others and serving the Lord. While the Bible gives actions, the dictionary just gives petty words. We are to do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers - other Christians. My sin in my Starbucks situation was being rude to my fellow brothers in Christ, even though I should do good to them because they belong to the family of believers. If I had applied that concept to my situation, I might've said something like: "It's nice to have you here. I'm glad you could come study with us. How's school going?" I would've been nice and kind and gently urged them into studying instead of just snapping at them. I would've been generous and asked them if there was anything I could help them with, instead of telling them to do something besides sit around. I was, unfortunately (that darn devil gets ya every time...), sinful and very un-good.

Sometimes it is really hard to be good. It's crazy hard. It's especially hard to be good to people who annoy you - I mean, why should I have to be generous and allow someone to sit at my table and save them a seat when I know they will just be annoying? Well... I should be good because it's what God calls me to do. I love my guy friends, so I should be good to them instead of harsh or rude, because being harsh and rude is poison of the devil. I can't also help but feel that sometimes I get tired of doing good too. You know, sometimes I don't really feel like being good all the time, too. It's exhausting being nice to people who wear my patience thin. It's expensive to buy people coffee sometimes. And sometimes, it's emotionally vexing to sit and talk to people that agitate me. But Galatians says:

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

You know what God's saying? He's saying that even when I feel like I don't want to be good, I should do good anyway. He's saying that I should not be lazy in His presence, because you know what? God blesses those who do good, and if we do good, we will reap a harvest. We must not give up being kind and generous, no matter how hard it is. You also know what else? God is always good to us, and we should follow His example and always be good to others. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be like satan and be lazy with goodness, because God wasn't lazy when He laid down His life for us.

 My challenge to you is to share your little cup of goodness. Bake cookies for someone you dislike; buy coffee for a friend; use kind, virtuous words instead of harsh ones; do not become lazy in doing good. After all, the harvest we will one day reap is heaven, and I would feel rather tragic if I found out after all that I had spent more time agitated, annoyed, being lazy and not good than spending all my time being generous and good. Wouldn't you?

And What If I'm Not Feeling Very Kind?

I am defiant. I am rather morose. I don't really like talking to people, though I have a lot to say. It's easier for me to be straight forward and blunt about things than to beat kindly around the bush. You know, sometimes it's just hard to be kind over all. I mean, really, it's hard to be kind to that person who cut me off while driving, the annoying teenage boy that seems incompetent, the rude girl across the room - really, there are endless things I don't really want to be kind to. You know what? Some things don't really deserve my kindness at all - not even a teeny tiny bit. Because I will be kind, when I want to be kind, right? Because you know what? I'm not feeling very kind today - or a lot of days - or every day when I'm not being the nicest of people. I am justified to not be kind to unkind people, right? Actually... wrong.

Kindness was the fifth Fruit of the Spirit I learned about as a Sunday school student. To a kid, I mean, really what is kindness? Well, let me tell you. Kindness was sharing a cookie with someone else; kindness was being nice to the kid at the play ground that stole the swing you had wanted; kindness was - dare I say it - letting someone else have the last Oreo in the cookie jar. And while my version of child-like kindness may have been very right, it isn't very right nowadays. Because kindness doesn't stay in the same form as sharing cookies or giving away Oreos or letting someone else have a swing. Kindness has kind of changed for me, and for everyone else that is growing up too. Now, for me, kindness is not honking my horn when someone pulls out in front of me; offering to buy someone a coffee when I'm really not feeling like it; offering to take my siblings places even when I really don't want to and it costs gas money. And you know what? A lot of the time I do those things, I don't feel very kind while doing them, nor do I really want to do them.

The dictionary says that kindness means the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. I would agree with what the dictionary says, because kindness is the mere essence of generosity, consideration and being friendly. And while I love the dictionary, I can't help but notice how bland it seems. Really, is that all kindness truly is? If so, how boring and simple! Kindness cannot surely be just that! So, on the journey for kindness I went, traveling through the Bible's pages. And do you know what I found, dear reader? Something more than just a silly definition. I found true kindness.

Kindness is forgiving one another and having a tender heart (Ephesians 4:32). Kindness is forgiving your enemies and doing good to them and expecting nothing from them in return because God is kind to the ungrateful and the evil (Luke 6:35). Kindness is blessing stupid people (1 Peter 3:9). In other words... kindness is forgiving the dumb girl that spread a rumor about you; kindness is heaping hot coals of Jesus onto people by being nice instead of rude. Kindness is smiling at the person that makes you so angry you want to beat yourself over the head. Kindness is blessing that ever-so-moronic driver that cut you off.

In short, kindness is being like God. I mean, God is still kind to us even though we curse Him, don't believe Him, turn our backs on Him and when we're being rather idiotic. Jesus washed the feet of His servants, including Judas', whom would betray him and sell him for a measly amount of silver. To lay down your own pride and wash the feet of someone you know will betray you and sell you out is more kindness than I could muster in a months. He was doing good to His enemies. Our Father is the perfect picture of kindness, and anything less is mundane compared to His holiness.

Being kind is really hard. It's tedious work. It's hard to keep my words straight when people are causing my patience to wear thin and such. Perhaps it's as hard for you as it is me - if it wasn't so hard, I doubt God would have so many verses on being kind. But, God is kind and we should strive to be kind, too. I'm not saying being kind is going to be easy (because it's not and satan likes to try to get in our way), I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. God blesses those who do good unto others. Take a step back from your life and look for kindness, because it might be hiding. Find it and apply it, because God is pretty fantastic when you start applying His Truth to your life.

"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline." Colossians 3:12

But Why Can't I Just Have It All Now?!

The water for my tea really can't heat up fast enough. Minutes of waiting for water to brew my tea? It's an eternity. I walk around the kitchen, look at my surroundings, dance on my toes - this can't possibly go any slower. I walk to the other room, searching for my book. I find it, only to misplace it and then have to go searching for it once again. Still, the water on the old stove of the beach house I'm staying in hasn't heated up. I find my book (at last!) and still the water isn't ready to be poured for my tea. Why oh why water are you not ready?! I twirl around the room, looking for a good place to sit and read my book. I find the clearest area of counter space (when there are four children and four adults in one house, a kitchen can get pretty messy) and sit down, delving into the book. I read five pages and still the water isn't ready. This infernal water should be heated, I think, why is it so slow?! I may die of the agony of having to be patient for one more second! Finally the kettle begins to whistle, and I slide (careen) off the counter, practically launching myself at the kettle. I yank it off the stove and pour the water into my mug, nearly squirming with anticipation. The tea, is now mine! As you can see, the word "patience" hardly exists in my vocabulary. If I can't be patient with my tea...doesn't that mean I can't be patient with other things? Sometimes, I think so. What about you? Is patient in your vocabulary, or is it like mine, and somehow patience seems to magically disappear when you most need it?

Patience was the second fruit of the spirit that I learned as a child. According to my parents, patience was when I wanted a cookie but I had to sit and wait till they were finished being baked in the oven. Patience was waiting for my friend to come over. Patience was waiting for Christmas, because a week seemed like an eternity! As a young girl, learning about what patience was, I was starting to think that it was just out there to annoy me. Now, as a young woman, I think differently.

I cannot explain to you how much it is my dream to get married and have a bunch of babies. If it were up to me, I would be married right now. I know there's a great guy out there that will one day be my husband, but I can't help but not want him to be my husband right now. If you already can't tell, I am not patiently waiting to be married and start my own family. Yes, I know I'm only sixteen and the possibility is at least two or three years away, but a girl can want and a girl can dream and a girl can be seriously impatient. But...I wish that I could be married now. I wish I didn't have to wait and be patient, because patience seems like a mood dampener. Honestly, patience makes me made and upset and kind of angry, because I want everything now, instead of when the Lord wants it.

Sometimes I just want to look at the Lord and go: "Yo, bro, speed it up a little, will ya?" I just can't help but be impatient about everything. I used to hound over things that I wanted sooner rather than later, but I've come to acquire some miniscule amount of wisdom: things don't come when I want them to come, they come when God wants them to come. So while I may want a husband and a family now (or a nice cup of tea in a timely manner...), I can't have those things now because it will all happen in God's time. It makes me feel a little sad that I would demand the Creator of the Universe to speed up His timing - how demeaning I am! A great verse says:

"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride." Ecclesiastes 7:8

Despite knowing that God is all that and a whole warehouse of Pringles, I can't help but want to shake Him and scream: "But why can't I just have it all now?! Why do I have to wait?!" And that screaming then leads to some very serious conversations between me and God, which mostly consist of be telling God why I should get something now and that I deserve it. Who am I to be so prideful that I think I can boss Jesus around? Patience is better than pride, and as I look through my daily life, my life is full of impatience.

I'm not going to say patience is easy, because that would be a lie. Patience is so hard it hurts all over and aches in your bones as if you were stuck in time. While patience may be tedious, it's beautiful. Want to know why? Because God has patience with us. We make mistakes, take time to learn our lessons, forget things easily and sin often. How much patience it must take with us petty, sinful creatures. Yet even though we may be difficult, the Lord still somehow exudes the most beautiful amount of patience. So don't be prideful and bossy, be patient and careful, because God knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11) and why on earth would we want to interfere with something as breathtaking and beautiful as that?

Now sit down, pull out your Bible, fold your hands together, read and pray. The thing I learned about being patient in the Holy Spirit, is that the best way to pass the time is talking to the One who is changing your life and teaching you the patience you are to exude, too.