Scared Stiff

Fear. It's crippling. It's that feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, alerting you to some evil lurking beneath your very nose. It's that feeling you get when you're walking through a dark house and you feel a pair of sinister eyes resting upon you. You feel it every day. You have a fear of getting into a car accident, of being taken, of losing a job, of losing a person. We all have these fears. And while there are some fears that ought to be feared, there are some that we are foolish towards. Sometimes we fear the dumbest thing...the most irrational thing, but it feels so heart-wrenching and threatening that we can't help but fear it. The thing we fear? The voice of God.

Isn't it crazy that the one being that cares more about us than anyone else, that houses more love for us than an entire world of love, we fear when He speaks to us? I'm not talking about fearing God (for we should fear disappointing him), I'm talking about fearing how He convicts us and orders us. Isn't it crazy, that we push back when God orders us to do something, but when we want Him to do something for us, then suddenly He's our best friend?

I won't ever deny that I had irrational fears about what God was saying. In fact, I have irrational fears all the time. My most recent fear was pertaining to singing for worship band. I know, I know...why should someone be afraid of singing? If you would've asked me a few months ago, I'm sure I could've given you a whole slew of answers...or excuses. Now, back to my story! When I was in the seventh or eighth grade, I sang a song for a talent show, surprising a lot of people since I was still new to the youth group and such (don't ask me where I got the courage to do so, because I'm still not sure). My youth pastor encouraged me to join the youth band, and I politely declined, saying that worship band just wasn't my thing. In high school, I was once again prodded to join the worship band. And, if you hadn't already suspected, I once again, declined. Seeing a pattern here? Because I was asked again, a couple times more, and with each passing time, I said no. Then, one day, as I was doing my devotions, I was praying and I realized that I had been going against God's will... I had been ignoring what God was saying and was having an irrational fear about joining worship band. He had been prodding me and giving me opportunities to serve Him and worship Him, and each time I threw them back in His face because I was letting my own fear rule my judgement. Who am I, that I should argue against the Lord and allow satan to pour fear into my life?

That sounds like a pretty awful story, doesn't it? Yes, I would agree! But, it gets better, because of the good grace of God. About a month ago, the head of the youth group worship band asked me if I would in any way, be willing to join. I'm pretty sure that I was under the influence of the Lord, or He took over my ability to speak, because I answered without hesitating, saying, "Yes" like that had been my hope and dream for years and years. Honestly, I shocked myself when the word escaped my lips. So, right then began the journey of singing for worship band. That night, I went home and told my parents about it (to which they were much delighted), and it didn't really hit me that I was going to sing for worship band till I was half delirious with sleep, and then I realized: I am singing for worship band...have I done something crazy?!

Have you ever had that before? Have you ever had God pushing and pulling at you, trying to get you to do something out of your comfort zone, but you say no because you are afraid? Because you are scared stiff? Sometimes God tells you to go across the world and serve Him in a different country, and sometimes God just tells you to go and talk to the new person at church or school, and perhaps, all He tells you, is to go up and praise Him. Whatever God is telling you, I say to you now, go and do what He asks - go and do what He orders! Do not fear what God is urging you to do, because He knows exactly what His plans for you are. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Did you just read that properly?! You know what it says?! It says that God will tell you what He wants you to do, but in the end, He will "give you the future you hope for". So why do you fear God's plans for you when His utmost plan is to give you a bright future?

I was terrified to join worship band... I was, dare I say it, scared stiff. It was pretty much my worst fear to get out in front of everyone and sing. My worst fear. If God has called you to do something that you're afraid of, do not lose the opportunity to worship Him and exalt Him and change lives in His glory... jump in headfirst! Do not be afraid, for God will walk beside you every step of the way. Pray for Him to shake up your world, and pray that He would help give you a courageous heart.

"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and take courage, for God knows the plans He has for you, and He won't let you down or leave you. If you ever feel like God is leading you towards something you're scared stiff to do, all the more reason why you should do it. Be strong and courageous, be strong and courageous, be strong and courageous.

P.S. I thought I would tell you that in the end, I ended up singing for worship band, and it was the best choice of my entire life, and it was a joy, to get to serve the Lord through song. Praise Jesus!