Sometimes I feel as if I just cannot help but be easily agitated and short. I often feel as if I'm over-mature, so when I get to the time when I am sitting around at Starbucks with my two best guy friends trying to study, I just cannot help but get upset at them for no reason, or at least stupid reasons. Perhaps it's the fact that they're not studying as much as they could be. Perhaps it's the fact that they are laughing and it's obnoxious and I invited them there to study. Or perhaps it's because they are sitting too close or being too loud or just being too annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love those guys more than anything; they're my best buds, and best buds - brothers - stick together through thick and thin. It's easy for me to say that even when they annoy me or drive me crazy, I still love 'em all the same. Yet, I just cannot help myself at being easily annoyed with them at points and times.
Let me paint a picture for you: I sit with my laptop to my left, my psychology textbooks open to my right and my notebook full of psych notes in front of me. I have my assortment of colored pens close-by, so I can color coat away. My warm caramel bruleé latte is right in front of me so that I may admire the gorgeousness of the cup and the delicious smell. Everything is going good, until all hell breaks loose that is. It starts with one of my guy friends plopping himself down beside me. He is loud and throws his backpack on the ground and instantly my whole atmosphere is thrown off. He is sitting too close, he is being too noisy, he is throwing off my studying groove. Until he had arrived, my other guy friend and I had been a little talkative, but quiet and scholarly. That's when things start to really get interesting. Because there are now two guys around versus one, they begin to interact. They laugh loudly, joke around and when I just want one moment to watch a movie trailer, they keep peering over at me and crowding me. So, guess what my dear, sweet sinful self does? I lose it. I say angrily: "Could you please mind your own business and stop looking at my things? Perhaps you could study and actually do something instead of just sitting around." I scoot my chair farther away from him, wanting as much space to breathe as possible. I never apologize, but as the day goes on, I feel the sinking feeling in my stomach that I have done something horribly wrong. As you can see, I had no ounce of goodness in me in that moment.
Goodness was the sixth Fruit of the Spirit that I learned about. The Sunday school teachers explained to us that goodness was being nice to others and generous. For example, if we had two cookies we could share one. Or if we saw a new person we could play with them and introduce ourselves. To kids, goodness didn't really seem all that hard. I mean, it wasn't too hard to make a new friend...but sharing cookies was a whole different story. But nowadays for me, goodness is buying a coworker a coffee for no reason. Goodness is being kind to people that sometimes annoy you. Goodness is offering to help buy somebody lunch because they don't have enough money. Goodness is welcoming a new person at church. Has goodness changed for you too?
The dictionary says that goodness means to be kind or generous; having virtue. I believe that that is a fair description of goodness. If I had reacted to the Starbucks situation with the dictionary's version of goodness, maybe I would've apologized or not said anything at all. But...sometimes the dictionary's ways are not the Godly ways. The Bible says:
"As we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:10
What the Bible is saying about goodness, is that we should always be good. The Bible depicts goodness as serving others and serving the Lord. While the Bible gives actions, the dictionary just gives petty words. We are to do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers - other Christians. My sin in my Starbucks situation was being rude to my fellow brothers in Christ, even though I should do good to them because they belong to the family of believers. If I had applied that concept to my situation, I might've said something like: "It's nice to have you here. I'm glad you could come study with us. How's school going?" I would've been nice and kind and gently urged them into studying instead of just snapping at them. I would've been generous and asked them if there was anything I could help them with, instead of telling them to do something besides sit around. I was, unfortunately (that darn devil gets ya every time...), sinful and very un-good.
Sometimes it is really hard to be good. It's crazy hard. It's especially hard to be good to people who annoy you - I mean, why should I have to be generous and allow someone to sit at my table and save them a seat when I know they will just be annoying? Well... I should be good because it's what God calls me to do. I love my guy friends, so I should be good to them instead of harsh or rude, because being harsh and rude is poison of the devil. I can't also help but feel that sometimes I get tired of doing good too. You know, sometimes I don't really feel like being good all the time, too. It's exhausting being nice to people who wear my patience thin. It's expensive to buy people coffee sometimes. And sometimes, it's emotionally vexing to sit and talk to people that agitate me. But Galatians says:
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
You know what God's saying? He's saying that even when I feel like I don't want to be good, I should do good anyway. He's saying that I should not be lazy in His presence, because you know what? God blesses those who do good, and if we do good, we will reap a harvest. We must not give up being kind and generous, no matter how hard it is. You also know what else? God is always good to us, and we should follow His example and always be good to others. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be like satan and be lazy with goodness, because God wasn't lazy when He laid down His life for us.
My challenge to you is to share your little cup of goodness. Bake cookies for someone you dislike; buy coffee for a friend; use kind, virtuous words instead of harsh ones; do not become lazy in doing good. After all, the harvest we will one day reap is heaven, and I would feel rather tragic if I found out after all that I had spent more time agitated, annoyed, being lazy and not good than spending all my time being generous and good. Wouldn't you?
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