As females, we tend to want to be pursued. We want people to come after us, and seek us out. I want to be pursued by people, instead of doing the pursuing. We can say the same about our relationship with God. When we haven't been saved yet, but we feel this tugging in our hearts and souls, God is pursuing us. He is wrapping His arms around us and pulling us close to Him. There is no more beautiful thing then God pursuing us...or is there?
There are times in my life when I go through dry seasons, and I'm sure many of us have times like that. It feels like there's nothing left, because God suddenly fell off the face of the Earth. It feels like He's abandoned us; left us in the dark without His light. When this happened to me, I was so angry. I was mad at God because I couldn't feel His presence, mad because He wasn't speaking to me, mad at His aloofness and mad at how easy it was for Him to treat me like this. I was hurt, because I didn't understand why God had left me so stranded. I thought Him and I were "tea-time" buddies, but if He could leave me like that, then what did that make Him?
I went through this dry season for what felt like a million years. People tried to encourage me and tell me that it would pass and I just had to keep being obedient to God, but it was hard. Why would I want to be obedient to someone who seemed like they didn't even care or exist anymore? There was even a really dark time when I wanted to walk away from my faith. I didn't want anything to do with the being that just left me alone. To me, it felt like God had pulled away and left me exposed to Satan and all his demons. It took a really long time to realize this wasn't true.
After being in my starless, dry season "without" God for a year or two, I finally figured out my problem. Even though people had told me my conclusion countless numbers of time, it didn't make sense until I was on my knees in desperation. I finally realized I had to pursue the Creator of the Universe. I had spent all my time waiting and waiting for God to pursue me, that I ignored pursuing Him. It wasn't Him who abandoned me, it was I who abandoned Him. I was the one that had pulled away, and when I became more angry at God, I pulled away even further. I was wrong, and Satan had used that to try and take me away from God completely. I ran back to God at full speed, but it was hard to pursue Him when I had pushed Him so far away.
Pursing the Father doesn't mean running around your house screaming to God to come back. It doesn't mean looking in your closet and under your bed for Him because you lost Him. Pursuing Him means sitting down in a quiet place, opening up your bible and delving into His word. It means talking to Him, even if it's just small talk. He wants to hear everything you think and want - He wants a "penny for your thoughts" so to speak. So delve into your bible and drown yourself in conversation with the one who has spectacular plans for you. Read books about Him; do devotions; try reading through the entire bible. But most of all? Be disciplined. Coming to God wasn't easy, and when I tried it the first time, I failed. I had to come back over and over again, and discipline myself to read my devotional and bible daily. It was a challenge, but one well worth it. I still struggle with being disciplined sometimes.
Here's a verse I stumbled upon that showed me pursuing God is something that should be done to Him, not wanted from Him:
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
That verse is God's decree - God's decree! Do you know what that means? It means that that is His official promise and law. So remember, in times when life seems veiled and God seems like He's skipping out on your tea party, you will find the Lord when you seek Him with all your heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment