The Disobedience of a Child

For part of my junior year and all of my senior year of high school, I had the opportunity to help out in a second through fourth grade classroom (shout out to the amazing Mrs. Teachout). There were eighteen loud, joyful, crazy, sweet and loving children that I got the pleasure of meeting and spending time with. Each one was unique and special in their own perfect way. I loved every second I got to spend with those kids, and it will always be something I treasure deeply. Though as much as I adored the kids, there were some times when things would go south. I remember once I had to scold a second grader for using a swear word; another time I had to spend half an hour trying to coax a child out of the bathroom...they had decided they wouldn't come out until it was time for lunch - cheeky monkey! Another time a little girl called her younger brother stupid; I remember asking him if that hurt his feelings. His reply? "Nahh...she's stupid too." I love kids, and I love working with them, but I can't help but face this fact: they can sometimes be disobedient.

As I sit here thinking about the disobedience of a child, I have to wonder...are we, God's kids, disobedient little children too? We are called to care for the poor and the widowed, to look after and love others and praise the Lord and spread the Gospel, but how often do we actually do that?

This past week at my school, it has been World Outreach Week, and we have had missionaries from all over the world, from small villages in Africa, to China and Europe and the States. God was working everywhere, and it was brilliant to see. But during that time, I remember a missionary sitting down with me and discussing missions. During the time I was listening to him, he offended two people, cussed a few times and he had probably the coolest mustache ever - I liked him instantly, because he was honest. He looked at my friends and I and said: "This stuff about 'God's call' is silly. God presents you with an opportunity, and you take it. And maybe you don't want to, or maybe you do. But you do it anyway, because we are called to obey the Lord." He then proceeded to tell us that as we walked through our lives, we were either doing one of two things: leading people to Christ, or leading them away from Him.

Did you hear that? Did you read what I said? We are supposed to obey the Lord. Our greatest purpose on this earth is to spread the Gospel to anyone and everyone and to praise God. I feel like so many times we get caught up in other things about "Christianity" and "religion" and certain acts, like how passionately we worship or if we have any spiritual gifts and if we are being "good" people. News flash... None of that matters. Is worship your life? Has worship or going to church or being apart of a religious group become such an idol that we forget our true purpose in life? Have we become so distracted by  wanting to have spiritual gifts or do something great or be apart of something or be a "good" person so badly that we let it get in the way of the Holy Spirit working in the lives of others? We are either leading people to Christ or dragging them away based on what we do and how we react and how we decide to spend our time. So why do we get ourselves so caught up in other things instead of doing what God has ultimately called us to do? Yeah, I think those things can be important, but I've noticed that we can become so obsessed about that stuff that we forget about that Jesus guy and his pretty sweet Father that chose us over everything else. How disobedient little children we are... How very disobedient that we would worship the resources The Lord has given us rather than Him.

There's a passage in Matthew that says:

"They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven." Matthew 23:5-10

We get so caught up in these things and wanting to be noticed, that we forget why we were put on this Earth and what God has actually called us to do. We aren't supposed to want recognition, because in that we are disobeying the Lord and saying: "No, God, we can worry about them later. But right now I just want to feel happy and good and nice - and besides, I'm doing it all for you anyway." We let ourselves and our own feelings get in the way of the Holy Spirit and that breaks me up inside and hurts every bone in my being. Who are we to tell God that we're cool worshiping Him because it makes us, selfishly, feel good about ourselves but that's more "important" than spreading the Gospel and saving people and praising the Lord unselfishly? We become so distracted and enraptured by the flashy, that we forget spreading the Good News isn't supposed to be flashy, but humbling.

We are such disobedient little children, so much so that we use things the Lord has given us as excuses and distractions from bringing people to Him. We kid ourselves into thinking that we're all doing these things for God, when really doing those things and being blinded by them for our own selfish reasons is causing us to be disobedient and forget that we should be bringing people to the Father.

So stop being arrogant about all these tools God has given you. Stop getting distracted. Get your head on straight and recognize that we have great things to do for The Lord to glorify and obey Him, and we should joyously be doing those things in abundance. We are supposed to be harvesters, not lazy employees that just sit around shouting encouragements and feeling good about ourselves until every once and a while we decide: "hey maybe I should spread the gospel today!" Be a harvester - reap the field, and do the work you were created to do! Don't ignore it and forget your purpose here. If you are the one standing in the way of a person coming to Jesus, that puts you in the Lord's way as well, and we should be fighting with Him, not pushing against Him.

Matthew 28:19-20 says:

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

So go and make disciples and praise the Lord.

A Letter of Love

I am a sinner. It's not a question; it's not an idea; it's a fact. I am a sinner. I'm a sinner and I don't deserve Jesus dying on the cross for me. I don't deserve the Lord of all creation choosing me and pulling me out of this wretched darkness. I look at myself and realize that I am not a "good" person. By wordly standards, I may appear to be. I've been to Tijuana, Mexico, spent the summer of my sophomore year living with a missionary family (shout out to the amazing Ward family) in a small town only a couple of hours from La Paz, Mexico, traveled to Haiti to spend a couple of weeks in the mountains to help the people there, worked as a VBS and middle school leader; I don't drink or do drugs; so does that really make me a good person?

Some of you may be nodding your heads yes, but I am swiftly shaking my head no. No, I'm not actually a good person. R.C. Sproul said: "Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once and He volunteered." The only "good" person to ever walk the face of the earth died 2000 years ago on a cross for people who did not deserve it. I am not a good person...I am a sinner. But. But I was chosen.

One day, the Lord sent His only son to Mother Earth, and so it was that true and perfect love was born in a stable, in the form of a sweet, precious baby that was destined to die for you and I - the picture of unworthiness. And so I was chosen. You were chosen.

And suddenly, an epic pursuit began.

No longer are we alone, being pursued by nothing but people, who come and go as they please and stop pursuing after they get tired or bored or settled. So He chases desperately after us, until we finally turn around and allow Him to slam into us so hard that His love echoes throughout our every cell and we can't help but be enraptured by it. Every bad thing, every debt, every mistake, every terrible late night decision, every rude word, every feeling of self-loathing, every moment of weakness, is wiped away by God's letter of love: "I have sent my one and only Son to die for you; to take away your sins. I have sent my one and only Son to die so that we could have no barriers between us. I have sent my one and only Son because I love you so much that I would give up anything to be with you. I have sent my one and only Son in a relentless pursuit of you."

Psalm 23:6 says: "Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever."

God loves you. God found you. God pursued you. And God will never stop pursuing you. How's that for true love?

UN-thankful

Ahhhhh November...fall leaves blowing about the road, Winter whispering of it's slow return, turkeys, football, blustering winds and gorgeous colors. I love November; it's easily one of my most favorite months, that is, if somebody could have a favorite month. Despite my list depicting November, I left one thing out of it: thankfulness. November is the month of thankfulness. Seeing as Thanksgiving is during late November, some genius person decided to make the entire month about being thankful. Hence, November is now the month of thankfulness. I like this idea a lot - an entire month dedicated to being thankful about things; talk about brilliant! While we can probably all agree that we like the "thankful month" and like talking about what we're grateful for, how come we are so positively un-thankful?

I love looking on Facebook and seeing everybody posting what they're thankful for on each day of November. I think it's a really sweet idea and it helps people realize all the great things they have in life. Except, when it comes to the rest of the year, how come things that we're thankful for are never talked about? Not only that, but how come (during the rest of the year and even during November) almost 100% of our time isn't spent rejoicing and being glad for what we have, but whining and complaining about what we don't have?

For example, I am thankful for getting to scoop dog poop. Now, don't take this the wrong way and think I'm thankful for dog poop...no, that's not what I mean! I'm thankful for getting to scoop dog poop because it means that I have the dog I truly love. Or, I'm thankful for slow drivers. Not because they're plain slow (because let me tell you, I can be super impatient sometimes!), but because they remind me to slow down and take a breather. Or another great example, I'm thankful for chewed shoes; not because they were chewed, but because I had a sweet Bernese to chew them. Things that seem like they should be complained about, can actually be rejoiced about!

Now take a look at your life. You say: "My husband never does this or that and he's just not contributing to our relationship" or vice versa. Or maybe you say: "I just don't feel like going to work today...I hate my job". Or perhaps (and here's a common one): "I hate school". Or even, "My kids just never listen to me". Those are all classic "whines" that we, as people, use on a regular basis. Now, I'm not going to deny that I never say these things, because I can assure you, I'm just as sinful as the next gal. Those are some of my favorite whines! But, they're wrong to whine about. You complain about your husband and after ten, fifteen years of marriage and you want a divorce because you have spent too much time being un-thankful for what you have. Maybe it's time to think about how nice it is that you even have a spouse to help you raise your kids and provide for you. Did you know that throughout the world, hundreds of children are being raised by single, poor mothers that would love to have a husband to help them? Crazy to think that you may be kicking your husband out, when another woman is desperately trying to get a husband. Same things go for husbands that think their wives aren't contributing. Or you say you hate your job, but hundreds upon thousands of people don't have jobs and can't provide for themselves or the ones they love. Who are we (me included) to complain about work when others don't even get the opportunity to fill out a job application? And then we sit and complain about school, but at least we get to go to school. If you go onto World Vision and search through the children to support, nearly every one will say that the child is currently not in school. Why? Because they don't get that opportunity like we do. And we complain and complain and complain about how our kids aren't listening to us when perhaps just across the street from you a woman just found out she will never be able to have children of her own. Since when did we become so selfishly ungrateful? What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday? Then what would life look like for you?

God didn't die on the cross so we could whine and complain and be un-thankful. Nope, definitely not! We have so many opportunities here on Earth, yet we decide to spend tons and tons of time complaining about the things we have. Paul was thankful for a jail cell and suffering...but we can't even be thankful for a comfy bed and a roof over our heads. Little children in Africa are thankful for a single pair of shoes or a deflated soccer ball, and we can't be thankful for fifty pairs of shoes or ten autographed, perfect soccer balls. God didn't create us to be whiners, but thankers! November shouldn't be the only month that we're thankful in...we should be thankful all the time, any time, about anything!

The Bible says: Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

That text right there commands us to be thankful in all circumstances, because this is God's will. This means that no matter what is going on, and what we want to whine about, that we should be thankful anyways. If we started counting our blessings instead of our "don't haves", don't you think we'd be a lot happier? Every time I get in a funk and start to feel depressed, my mom always sits be down and makes me say (out loud) what I'm thankful for. In a matter of minutes - sometimes seconds - both of us are smiling and laughing and I am feeling perfectly fine. So don't just post on Facebook in the month of November about what you're thankful for - shout to the heavens everyday of your life what you're thankful for.

So what are you thankful for?

Lazy, Baby

It's an everyday sort of problem - I don't even think we go a day without doing it. Sometimes that's all we are, and other times, we just choose when to be it. Most of the time, we make the conscious decision to do it - to become it. What exactly am I talking about? Well, I'm talking about being lazy. Everybody struggles with laziness; in fact, I don't know a single person that doesn't struggle with it at some point in their life. Some of us out there try to fight laziness, whereas others just accept it and become lazy. Yet, there are different forms of laziness. The first form is just being generally lazy. For example, not cleaning your house, ignoring homework, trying to worm your way out of responsibilities, etc. The second form is where we're too busy being lazy that we let our flesh (our sinful nature) get the best of us - I'll talk more about this later. God hates laziness, did you know that?

After spending my entire life in the ministry, I've become attune to laziness. It's something that now stands out to me (and which I have also participated in). Again, I'm not talking about being lazy like cleaning things up or just wanting to sit around; I'm talking about spiritual laziness. Spiritual laziness so undeniably prominent, it almost hurts. So what exactly is spiritual laziness? I'll give you three examples of things that I've learned and things that I've observed.

Not reading your Bible is a part of spiritual laziness. So often times we are "too tired" to read our Bible, but we're perfectly okay to go read a book or watch a movie or even go hang out with friends. We're willing to go to work, hang out with people or spend time as a family, but as soon as it comes to reading ones Bible, suddenly God hits the bottom of the list. How dare we put God at the bottom of the list after all He's done? Satan tries to trick us into thinking that reading our Bible is exhausting, but really, it's not. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I used to struggle with this type of laziness - I still do sometimes. I used to say that I was "too tired" or just "didn't feel up to it", and I was being unbelievably sinful when I was doing that. Talk about stupidity on my part!

The second type of spiritual laziness is serving. Where I live, people would rather shove their money in your face then actually do it themselves. This means that they'd rather give you their money to hire somebody, then to actually commit to the work themselves. Sure, they may have good paying jobs, but that doesn't mean they can't serve. When we don't serve, we're throwing all that Jesus did back in God's face. We're saying that Jesus was strange, and that his work was so lowly we wouldn't even dare think about doing the same thing. Jesus went and hung around with dumb sheep boys and obnoxious sailors; he sat with crazy children and poured his wisdom into fools. Why does it seem so hard for us to do the same? We don't want to help set up church on Sunday mornings because "we've got no time" or we don't want to be a leader in VBS because "we've got too much going on" and we can't help out in the youth groups because "kids just aren't our thing". But God calls us to be servants, so we must abandon that spiritual laziness, take up our cross and follow him.

The last type of spiritual laziness is commitment. For example, people say they want to "help", but they never want to commit. They say they want to serve or they want to have a stronger relationship with God, but for some reason, they let satan talk them into believing that they just can't commit to it yet. Or they can't make it to church on time because it's "too early", even though it's at ten in the morning and they're up for school by five. Or they sit and complain about how bad the church (or youth group, or worship band or children's ministry or bible study) instead of trying to help the church out. I used to sit and complain about how I just didn't like my youth group very much, till I realized that this world is not mine, that youth group is not mine, and I am not going to let my sinful flesh get the best of me. I'm on this earth for God, which therefore means that I need to commit to my church and my Jesus. It means that I need to be supportive and offer up my services and commit to whatever I do. "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Psalm 16:3 is what the Bible says, so why do we always try to be so flighty? We need to buckle down, stick with where God's got us and invest, instead of allowing satan to run our lives.

The Bible says, 

"A lazy life is an empty life, but “early to rise” gets the job done." Psalm 12:27

We are not meant to be lazy. We are meant to be alive and on fire for Jesus! This means we should be spending time with him as much as possible for as long as possible. It means serving in his name, because we get to serve. It means committing to following him, supporting his church and being more like him. Being lazy isn't any fun; actually, it's kind of exhausting. So stand up and stop sitting around being lazy. It's hard to see the whole sunset, when you can't peek over the mountain.

A Broken Trust

My title seems like it's going to be sort of deceiving, doesn't it? "A Broken Trust" - what's that supposed to mean exactly? It sort of seems like maybe I am about to start ranting about how someone broke my trust or something, but that's not what this is about at all. So, take those ideas and shove 'em far far far away, because we don't need them! Although, this blogpost is about trust, just perhaps not the kind that would first come to your mind when you hear the word.

I have a friend, and saying she is incredible and wonderful and absolutely the greatest person on the entire planet wouldn't do her justice, because she is so much better than that. Every time I get together with her, I am blown away by just how unique and amazing she is - literally, blown away. I really am blessed that God put her in my life, because there aren't even words to describe my thankfulness. She is a beautiful godly woman and constantly manages to teach me something new. But, this has to do with trust, not just me getting to brag about an amazing friend! Anyway, let's get to our story.

I ended up getting the opportunity to hang out with this girl recently (which was fantastic, by the way), and as we were talking we got into a more serious conversation about our lives. She was telling me a story about when she had been going through a difficult time and how instead of just sitting around and wallowing, she decided to sit down and pray - yes, pray. Isn't it weird how often times, our first reaction isn't to pray, but to have a pity party? So, I asked her what happened when she prayed, and she said, "I was just asking God what I should do, and all of a sudden, clear as day, He said 'trust me'." Trust me. Trust me. Trust me, God, the Father, your Lord. You know what she told me after that? She said that she would trust God, because He had asked her to. How easy she made it seem - or how easy it actually was.

Sometimes it's hard to trust God...or rather, it's hard to allow Him to have the steering wheel in our lives. We constantly feel as if we know best and that we could write a better story for our lives than He could. Unfortunately, that isn't true. I personally know exactly what it feels like to have a broken trust between God and I, and I can honestly tell you that the broken trust wasn't initiated by God, but by me. Sometimes I struggle with trusting God, because I worry about whether or not He'll do what I want most. I worry that, perhaps, God doesn't entirely know what I want and that He might not give me specifically these things. Or other times, I get worried that He is going to shake up my world and change my plans, something which is really hard for me to understand.

Recently, I thought I had all these plans. I was running around like crazy with a broken trust between God and I, because instead of trusting Him to make my life beautiful, I was trusting myself. Want to know what trusting yourself gets you? A few bumps and bruises and tears. Want to know what trusting God gets you? A wonderful life full of ease and happiness. Those seem very different when you compare them that way, don't they? Which is why I say to you, fix your broken trust between yourself and the Creator. He knows - knows - the plans that He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11), and that is something we need to trust in. Butting in and changing things throws around God's trust like an old shirt you're too lazy to hang up - crazily and constantly. God told my friend to trust Him, and she did...instead of her life turning to shambles, she went through the rough patch but came out better before, instead of going through a constant battle if she would've just trusted herself. Whatever happens (or is happening) in your life, whether good or bad, trust God, because he ultimately knows the plan.

Trust God. Don't trust yourself. Sometimes satan tries to trick us by telling us we know best, when really, we don't know that much at all. Sure, we may know a couple of cool facts, but not all of those combined can compare to what God knows. If you have a broken trust with God, perhaps it's time to fix that once and for all, and gain the life God has originally planned for you.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which paths to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

Concerning Hobbits

Somehow, no matter what mood I happen to be in - whether happy, sad, angry, etc. - Lord of the Rings always seems like a good idea. In honor of some of my close best friends, my love for all things Hobbit-y and my dear sweet father, I have decided to write a blogpost "concerning Hobbits". Now, you might be wondering why I could be writing a blogpost on Hobbits and how on earth it is going to somehow translate into a spiritual lesson. Well, don't you fret my good friend, because there are spiritual lessons in everything - even in Hobbits.

The word "humility" is related to the word "humus", which means "dust" or "earth". Thousands of years ago, a humble person could be seen bowing at the feet of someone great, causing them to be close to the ground and "in the dust". In the Bible, a picture of this is painted when Jesus washes the feet of the disciples in a "bowing" manor, close to the ground and in the dust. In the earlier years, the lower you bowed - the closer to the ground you got - the more humility and respect you had for the person you were bowing to. Sort of like how in the Bible times, when one was praying they laid face down in the dirt, because they were offering up respect and humility towards the Lord.

Did you know the average height of a Hobbit is three foot six inches? I bet you didn't, but now you do. That seems awfully tiny, doesn't it? It seems awfully...close to the ground. Hobbits are small folk and often called "half-lings" because of their stature. One of the greatest lessons we can learn from Hobbits is how to be humble. These little creatures portray humility more than any other person or creature in all of Middle-Earth, giving us a clear picture of how "humus" is displayed. At first, it makes no sense as to why Tolkien would send such a small creature into Mordor, full of darkness, danger and death. It also makes no sense as to why Gandalf would ask a Hobbit to come on an adventure with him to go fight off a dragon with only rowdy dwarves as companions. Why, pick creatures so small? Why would Gandalf pick beings so unable to stand up and declare their territory, instead of elves or men? Because they are humble and close to the ground.

Hobbits do not fancy themselves as equals to the mighty people of Middle-Earth. They want nothing to do with wild wizards, the insane deeds of men and the ancient and wondrous elves; they prefer to be left in their homes; homes that are created beneath the "earth". For example, in the beginning of The Hobbit, Tolkien begins describing a hole. "In a hole, in the ground lived a Hobbit..." - here, we see the humble Hobbit living in a humble home. How often do we bury ourselves in humility and hide away to spend some time with God, just as the Hobbits hide away for peace?

If you have ever watched Lord of the Rings or read the books, perhaps you wonder why the Ring affects almost anyone around it, but hardly affects the Hobbits. Well, that is because the Hobbits do not think themselves as anyone or anything special. They see no extravagance in the way they live; they see no reason to be vain, unlike the elves that are pristine and the men that constantly seek power. The Hobbits, seek nothing. They live to enjoy their simple lifestyles with what they have, instead of fighting for something they do not need. How often we as humans fight for something we do not need, instead of investing our time into something we do need (God)?

Sometimes it's a little hard to be humble - no, often times it's really hard! When we serve, sometimes we want every single person to know the good we're doing, because we think we must brag about our goodness. When really, everything we do is to be done not out of vain, but out of humility and servitude. Do you think Frodo decided to take the Ring to Mordor because he wanted to be lifted up and exalted? No! Frodo took the Ring to Mordor because he was willing to sacrifice his own life in humility; to save the ones he loved. Want to know who did the same thing? Well...Jesus did, that's who. When he performed miracles, he didn't boast about his abilities; instead, he passed like a ship in the night pretending that he was just an ordinary man.

So who are you? Are you a Hobbit or a Saruman? Do you bow before the Lord and serve out of humility? Or do you stand before God and brag about all the "good things" you're doing? Perhaps it's time to ask God for a little less bragging and a little more humility. And maybe, it's time to be a little more like Jesus and a little less like satan.

"Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4

Legit Courage

Courage: to be valiant (brave)

It has come to my special attention that lately, courage is a thing that is constantly talked about. Courage. Yes, courage. It's not as if courage hasn't been a topic of conversation before (for courage is often talked about). What people consider to be "courageous" nowadays isn't really courageous; not only that, but what God considers to be true courage isn't anywhere near what we (in the 21st century) have decided is courage. So, I've decided it was high time for us to take a look at the different forms of courage there are. I would like to share two stories with you - both are fictional - and I would like you, as the reader, to decide for yourself which is truly courageous...and not by your standards, but by God's standards.

Story #1:

This was it. This was the day that I knew was coming. This was the day that I had been warned about when I got onto the plane to go to the darkest part of China. I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it'd come so soon...so fast and violently. Though I suppose I've known from day one that this sort of thing, was going to happen one way or another. But God told me to go to China, and to China I would go. It had been my dream since I was just a boy to travel the world, but only a month ago had God told me to travel the world and share His Good News. When I found out what He wanted me to do, it was like a door had been open and a burst of light streamed into the room, landing directly on me. It was as if the veil had been lifted and I could see clearly, after all this time in the darkness. So, I followed God's orders and went to China.

I had been told by many people that my trip could be dangerous, and I always responded, "Maybe so, but letting people go to hell would be dangerous too." My trip started out fairly well. I made friends in China; I preached the Gospel. Until one day, when all of that changed. I had been on my way to an underground church when I was grabbed by soldiers. They shouted at me, telling me that I had offended the government by preaching my "false learnings" to their people. I said nothing...because saying something would be wrong. In that moment, God somehow kept me quiet, despite my usual flaming temper. One second the men were yelling at me, and the next, everything went black.

The day I died, wasn't a sad day. Yes, I suppose some of it was indeed very sad. It would be hard on my family, once they received a letter from the underground church stating that I had been killed as a martyr for the Gospel and for my God. It would be hard on my friends, whom didn't understand why I had felt the need to tell people about the Lord if it could get me killed. So yes, I died a week later from being taken by the soldiers. I was taken to a prison, where I was beaten and yelled at for my faith. After each beating, they would ask me to renounce my faith so that the beating would stop and I could have an honorable death. But each time they asked, I always replied, "Hallelujah! Thank you Lord, for blessing me." Which, never turned out very well. I died of collapsed lungs and blood loss...not a stab wound or a gun shot. The soldiers beat me so hard that my ribs broke and punctured both of my lungs, and had broken my leg so badly they severed a major artery. Upon my deathbed, I didn't feel pitiful, or even sorry for myself; I didn't even regret my decision to come to China. Why? Because I had been courageous in God, and if even only one other person learned about God from me, then that was a victory.

In the story above, we see the short life of a martyr. A young man whom decided to visit China in hopes to preach the Gospel to people that most needed it. But in the end, he was snatched away and murdered because he wanted to stand up for his faith. Because he wanted to stand up for God. I know it's a sad story...and I know it's sad to read. It's sad to imagine someone that went through something so cruel. But to imagine someone so courageous? I don't think that's very hard at all.

Story #2:

I had always had a rough life growing up as a kid. I mean, we were financially well off for the most part. We had no problems paying the bills or anything...and we always had enough money to go shopping. Outside of my home though, life was hard. I would get bullied constantly because people thought I was "different". In the third grade, kids made fun of me because I could draw and even liked to. It wasn't just the fact that I could draw, but what I drew. I liked to draw princesses and unicorns - they were pretty, and you can't blame a guy. That, and they all had excellent taste in fashion. I also got made fun of once, because my uncle came to pick me up one week from the school, and the kids noticed he was a little weird too. They called it "gay". 

Junior high was boring...I had no guy friends, but I had a bunch of girls that were friends. We did everything together, my friend Veronica and I. We went shopping, bought clothes, looked at perfumes, painted our nails. Like I said, we did everything together. In junior high though, things began to change. I knew I was different, I just couldn't wrap my brain around how. Then one day, Veronica and I were sitting together and she asked, "Ben, do you think you're gay?" There was that word again...gay. I just turned to her and asked, "Is gay where a guy likes other guys?" Veronica took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. She said, "Yes, that's what  it is." Had this been what I had been waiting for? A sign to tell me who I was or needed to be? Finally, I answered her. I said, "Yes, I think so."

My freshman and sophomore year of high school were hell in high heels. People made fun of me left and right, because I dressed way too nice and talked a little strange and walked a little feminine. While the boys never seemed to like me (though I really liked them), the girls still loved me more than ever. They said I was easy to be around...they said I was a "package deal" because I was like a girl in boy form. "Best of both worlds" they used to say. I went into hiding in my junior year, because bullies aren't as nice as they used to be. I pretended I wasn't gay anymore, because being gay could be a serious issue in high school. I was about ready to switch schools because the bullying had gotten so bad when something happened. As soon as gay marriage was legalized, the next morning I went to school, everything was different. I saw people I hadn't even know were gay, coming out of the closet and boldly stating who they were. I, of course, participated. I even made some friends in the process!

By the end of all of our gay speeches, the kids and I sat around at a lunch table, chatting about how nice it was for us to all be who we really were. While we were standing about, some freshmen students came up to us, shaking our hands and hugging each one of us. They told us were were brave and courageous for standing up for who we are. I think we're courageous too.

In the second story, we see a struggling boy that eventually comes to the conclusion that he is gay. He is bullied through school and wrestles with who he thinks he might be. In the end though, he stands up for who he is and publicly announces it, along with a few other kids that go to his school. The people around him consider it "courage".

So, which story seems more courageous to you?

I've spent almost seventeen years studying "courage". Not like I'm a psychologist or scientist or something (because I'm not - I'm just some crazy teenager!) studying actual courage...I'm just a people watcher. That, and my most favorite aspect of any movie, is the courage the characters have. For example, take Lord of the Rings and you'll notice courage left and right. I think one of the most perfect examples of courage is Aragorn. No matter what situation he is in, he leads his group of men in courage and bravery and humility. Never once does he back down in fear, nor shut down the bravery, or pull out a pride spirit in place of his humble one. Never once does he do that. You know who else is like that? God.

After looking at the different forms of courage, I have come to a rather disappointing conclusion. We, as humans, aren't actually very courageous. Yes, those soldiers fighting for our country are, and so are the police officers and fire fighters. But, the rest of us? I have a hard time finding any legit courage inside of us...at all. The things we fight for and are "courageous" about, are petty things that won't mean anything in five years. For example, if we as Christians ask public schools to let us pray in them and the school board says no, we decide we need to try to sue the school and be courageous with our beliefs. In all actuality, we are being sinful. Not because we want to pray in the school, but because we feel offended and we want to make these other people pay for their wrongs. Sure, our base line appears strong and for God, but the deeper we dig, the more we notice we aren't really fighting for God, just for our rights as Americans. Or, we think that standing up for who we are (i.e. being gay, being lesbian, having strong opinions, dressing a certain way, acting a certain way, liking specific things) makes us courageous. I have a newsflash for you...that doesn't make you courageous. That, makes you cowardice. Why? Because you are standing up for an idol. You decide you need to worship your idol and stand up for it, because "that's just who you are". Have you ever notice that "just who you are" hadn't occurred to you until you started falling away from God? I have, because that was me once.

Courage isn't standing up for who you are; courage is standing up for who He is. Legit courage is following God every step of the way. Legit courage is believing in Him, despite the lies satan tries to make you belief. Legit courage is telling your friends about God. Legit courage is praying for your enemy, because you know God loves them too. Legit courage is opening your bible out in public, and letting people see you reading it outside of church or your home. Legit courage is, like I said before, standing up for who God is, not for who you are. The second you start being "courageous" about who you are, you become a coward. So pray for courage. Pray for God's legit courage, not for a false form of courage that you think you might understand.

But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. - John 16:32-33

Well thank the Lord and sing me a worship song! God has overcome the world, and through Him we have courage. I guess that makes life, sort of awesome. Praise Jesus!