Have Courage and Be Kind

Growing up, I was a child that legitimately liked everything. I liked every type of toy, and believed that they all needed to be played with because, well, toy equality. Since my dad was a huge Star Wars and superhero nerd, I grew up playing with Star Wars action figures (my favorite were the Ewoks) and X-Men figurines while rocking my Spiderman pajamas and C3-PO slippers. Now while I was a total tomboy in some aspects, I was still a little girl, which meant one thing: princesses, princesses everywhere. More specifically, Disney princesses. So as a twenty-year-old woman, you have to understand my joy with all of the new live-action Disney princess movies. While I'm anxiously awaiting Beauty and the Beast (commence girlish giggling), for this blogpost I want to focus on two things: the newest Cinderella movie and our current political state as a country. But before we do that, I want to give a disclaimer: I do not approve of either Trump or Hillary when it comes to their character quality. I did not vote for either of them. This being said, I am not going to write from a perspective that supports one or both of them. This is going to come from a neutral perspective, so don't panic and stay tuned.

The main line or "phrase" in the new, live-action Cinderella move is this:

"Have courage and be kind."

Now go on, read it again:

"Have courage and be kind."

I love that line, don't you? It's plain, it's simple, and it's straight forward. Above all, I believe its exactly what we as people - whether we are young or old, male or female, Christian or non-Christian, Democrat or Republican or even unlabeled - need to focus on. We need to have courage. We need to be kind. But lately, what with Trump being elected as our next president, I have not seen much courage, and I have not seen much kindness. In fact, I have seen the opposite. I have seen fear, anxiety and worry, and cruelty, meanness and viciousness. I go onto social media and am immediately disheartened; we do not have courage and we are not being kind.

One of my favorite things to tell my boyfriend (God bless his patient soul) is that I do not believe the opposite of love is hate. I believe that the opposite of love, is in fact, fear. The opposite of love is fear. Now we can switch this around by saying that the opposite of fear is then therefore, love. 1 John 4:18 says, "Therefore there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." How can we have courage and love and kindness, if all we show is fear?

I have watched our country dramatically change within the last few years. I have watched us choose to love people regardless of their pasts, their religion, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their mistakes, their personal views and so much more. We were united. We were courageous, loving and kind. Our kindness was a priority, and so was our courage to stand up for one another. And suddenly, over the last 72 hours, I watched us completely fall apart. In a couple of hours, I watched our country shed our courage, kindness and love and instead replace it with fear, anger and cruelty. How did we allow ourselves, regardless of our views, to fall apart and become so vicious? We had come so far, only to lose it at the sight of one person plastered across our TV and cellphone screens. Why are we losing our courage and kindness so fast?

I have been on social media since the election and I have seen such a lack of courage and kindness, and I have watched us revert back as a country. In such a short time frame I watched us take one step forward and nine steps back. What was making our country so great was our courage, our kindness, and our love, but we are losing that. And it is breaking my heart because we are so much greater than that, and because we are called to greater things than this.

Psalm 31:24 says, "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord." Did you know that the Bible says "fear not" and phrases similar to that 365 times? Every single day we could read a verse about fear, and yet, here we are, focusing more on fear than on love, and we are driving wedges between each other. Our battle is not with each other, nor is it with Trump. Our battle is with our lack of love and our lack of kindness and courage. Our battle is with our overwhelming sense of fear that Satan wants us to reside in. By acting out of fear and anger and lack of love, we are becoming the very thing we detest. We are becoming the opposite of what we want to be, of what we have striven to become.

Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." As Christians we are called to be kind. As human beings in general, we should continually choose kindness. When we decide to go against kindness, we gain nothing. When we block, unfriend, and create arguments among one another, whether online or in person, we allow anger and hate to blossom. Those are not Christian characteristics, and those are not traits of Americans.

I urge you, have courage and be kind. Do not become the very thing you hate. We are the UNITED States of America! We are supposed to be united, not divided. No matter who our president is, or what we would have chosen for our country, we still need to be kind, have courage and show love. That is where our power is. That is where our wisdom is. And that is where our voice will be heard.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8

Why I Don't Want To Be The Strong One, But Why I Have To Be

 

 

I am the first person to tell you that I am not a fan of relationships, especially when they're talked about in books or movies or articles regarding godly relationships. To be honest, it kind of majorly drives me up the wall. When I go to the bookstore, all I want to find is a cool Theology or Apologetics book for the millennial generation (my generation). But what I find instead, is a plethora of never ending dating and marriage books. Don't get me wrong, I think we need books on marriage and dating with a Christian perspective to help us navigate relationships and how we can honor God in these said relationships. But I am completely and totally exhausted with seeing only dating books every which way that I turn. And there are many reasons why.

I haven't had a boyfriend for the last four years. Some people call me picky and say my standards are too high for any guy to ever amount to. Others say dating is just something fun to do and it doesn't need to be taken seriously, and that I should lighten up. Others say I just haven't put myself out there because I'm being too snobbish. What they don't know, is that they are all wrong. I haven't had a boyfriend because I'm picky, take dating too seriously, or am a snob. I haven't had a boyfriend in four years because my mind and soul and heart doesn't physically have the strength to battle the Enemy and fight for my purity and the man I'm with. I have already fought too many battles, and I am wounded; weakened; exhausted; discouraged. I have had a grand total of four boyfriends, and a lot of almost but not quite boyfriends. I'm not telling you this so you can laugh or be shocked or surprised; I'm telling you so you can understand where I'm coming from. So you can understand that the battles are hard to win and easy to give in to, and leave you feeling bruised, broken and depressed. Because in every relationship I've ever been in, no matter how good the guy is, I have always had to be the strong one. I have had to fight my own battles, as well as try to shield him from his own demons.

I have to be the strong one, but I don't want to be. 

Winston Churchill once wrote, "The price of greatness is responsibility." Boy was he ever right. To be great, to have a great relationship and find a great guy and be successful, you have to first be responsible. I have to be responsible. But I don't want to be. I have to be because I have to protect myself. I put on the full armor of Christ, but I can't just defend myself. Suddenly I have to protect myself, but also protect him, because his strength isn't strong enough, and this leaves him weak, and exposed. And I have to be the bridge between his sins and desires and the Lord's unending love and grace.

I don't want to be the strong one, but I have to be.

Because now my purity and his purity rests on my shoulders, and I hold the ability to make or break our relationship and thirty seconds of bad behavior can change our lives forever. And for what? Sexual tension and a damaged conscience? So statistically we can break up and go sleep with about five other people before we're married to other people and settle down? 

I don't want to be the strong one, but I have to be.

Because I am Sam, and he is Frodo, and I have to carry him up Mount Doom and help him battle his own demons and desires and throw the ring into the fire. Because I can't take the ring up myself, but I have to carry him so that we don't fail and lose ourselves for momentary fun and a lifetime of pain and regret. I don't want to be the strong one, but I have to be. I have to be the warrior and battle the Enemy and cry out to Jesus to give me strength and courage and readiness to fight this battle for the both of us. And I am beaten down and bruised and broken and afraid because with every day that goes on, all I can do is wonder if tomorrow will be the day that the battle beats me.

I am exhausted. Delusional. Tired and distraught and fearful of what will happen next. So I wrap myself in a cocoon of God's perfect love and strength and hide under His arms, preparing once again when the time comes for me to fight this battle of impurity once more. Because if I am America and that was World War I, then I have more wars to fight down the road. So I need to rest and draw strength from the Lord, so that I may pick up my sword and shield again and again and fight for purity and righteousness for both myself and the boy I'm with.

"From the ashes a fire shall be woken," - Tolkien. I am a pile of ashes, but God will light a fire within me, because my time for battle will once again approach, and I have to be ready. I will rise like a phoenix and be reborn again, renewed with strength and courage and tenacity to once again battle for our souls, using the Father as my sword and shield.

 

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. The LORD is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed."  - Psalm 28:7-8

I don't want to be the strong one, but I have to be. Because in this moment, with me, my future boyfriend most likely doesn't have the strength to put the brakes on when we're caught up in the moment. It's up to me. I'm weary. I am burdened with both mine and his purity. Because as much as I am tired of being the strong one and wish someone else would have the job of keeping our purity safe, I know I must do what needs to be done.

Realistically, the man I marry will have already slept with another girl before me; maybe even more than one girl. And I will sit, as his girlfriend or wife, and wish the girls he had been with before had had the strength to guard both her purity and his. So whether boyfriend number five becomes a spouse or not, either I will thank myself and God for keeping me strong, or his wife will thank me down the road. I may never meet her. I may never even know her name. But I would rather be one less notch on a belt of sexuality than a new notch before she settles him down.

If you're reading this and you're a girl, please, just stop. Put the brakes on. Say no. Keep yourself but also him safe from sin. Because unfortunately you're Batman in a sea of Jokers, and he's Gotham, and it's your job to protect him, whether or not you marry him. It's not your job to steal what should be another girl's.

If you're reading this and you're a guy, please, just calm your face. Look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself to calm the hell down. Because as much as you want to be with her, she is trying her hardest to save you and save herself from further hardship. So don't ask her for more. Don't let your hands slip. Keep your mind focused. Because she is worth more than a mistake in a string of boyfriends and you need to respect that. Don't push the envelope, because that's not your job. Your job is to protect her. As much as she is trying to protect you, you need to see her as courageous, brave, and self-sacrificing. Because she's risking her own heart and feelings to keep the both of you pure. So if you're a dude and reading this, please don't make her fight this battle alone. Luna Lovegood said, "Because if it's just you alone you're not as much of a threat." She is fighting by herself, but it takes two to tango. It takes a set of partners to catch a bad guy. So instead of aiding the Enemy, aid her. Risk your own wants and needs and do what God desires of you. Respect her. Keep her safe. Aid her in this battle, because two is better than one, and she would do anything for your help.

I don't want to be the strong one, but I have to be. And that's okay. It's hard. It's a long fight, and it's one of those battles where the Enemy keeps trying to chip away at you. But it's not impossible. We are survivors. We are strong, empowered by the bravery and sacrifice of the Lord.

A Letter to Men

It is with a heavy heart and a burdened spirit and a fragile mind that I write this blogpost. It is a topic that has been weighing down upon me, causing me great turmoil and fear. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it and how it has affected so many, many lives. I try to aim my blogposts to both men and women alike; young and old. But for this post I am aiming it specifically at men, no matter the age. Men who are old. Men who are young. Boys who have yet to become men. Brothers and husbands and fathers and uncles. This is my letter.

Dear Men,

Every little girl dreams of getting married. I work at a daycare and half the time my little girls are playing "marriage" or "house". Every one of them talks about being married to their husbands one day and having sweet babies and being mommies. While they aren't old enough to fully comprehend the responsibility of such things, it is still something they desire, from a very small age. I was one of those little girls. 

For years I have prayed for the man that God has set aside for me. I have prayed he comes quickly. I have prayed he seeks the Lord and loves little ones and loves me. I pray that he knows how to lead me. But as of late, I have begun to become discouraged by such things. Days go by. Months. Years. And as I have gotten older I have been forced to recognize the utter ugliness of the world I dwell in. Pornography and sexual temptations haunt young men around every corner. When you're young you don't realize it, but then something happens and suddenly it seems so much closer and so much more real than it did before. Porn used to be an ugly word, followed by shame and lust and sin. Nowadays, it is thrown around freely. As if it is just a part of life. As if it is okay. As if we should just expect it to always be around. As if it is perfectly normal for every young man to have seen it and struggle with it.

The average age for a male to view pornography is by the age of 9. Nine. 9. 9. As I stated previously, I work at a daycare. The kids I work with are as old as six. It both startles and scares me to think that by the time my young boys are 12, most, if not all of them, will have viewed pornography. By the age of 16 many of them will struggle with porn addictions. 10 years and the little boys I once knew will be forever tainted. It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces to think upon such things. Because they are so innocent and so sweet and one day they will have wives and girlfriends, who will never be able to compete with something this graphic.

I have seen women struggle over the fact that their boyfriends or guy friends or husbands struggle with porn or a sexual desire that cannot be quenched. I myself have been a victim of a young man who decided to choose porn and temptation and lust over me. Perhaps you don't know it...perhaps nobody has ever told you what it feels like when someone chooses a computer or an iPhone screen over you. 

 I knew a young man who was addicted to porn by the age of 16; he started viewing it when he was 10. Josh Duggar recently admitted he was cheating on his wife and struggling with porn as well. Strippers and pornography and graphic movies and unfortunate sexual interactions have forever changed the world. They have forever changed the world for so many young women who are put up to compete with things that are horrifically violent and devastating and painful and ultimately unreal. And nowadays I wonder...is there even a young man who hasn't looked at porn? Because now I expect that every man, every young man and boy has viewed such things. The movie/book "50 Shades of Grey" is celebrated and now more and more women are told that they should be able to take on mental, physical, sexual and verbal abuse in order to maintain a man. But where in the Bible does it say that men are supposed to abuse and hurt their wives and significant others? I have yet to find such a thing. In fact, I believe the Bible says otherwise. Colossians 3:19 says, "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." I have looked. So far I don't see anything about God telling men to view pornography and hurt their loved ones.






I am 19 years old. I used to be excited about getting married. Now...now I'm not so sure. I am fearful. Because I have already been left behind for a girl on a computer screen. And I know, like I know many other women have felt, like I could never compete with that. She is perfect. And photo shopped. And told how to act. She does whatever a directer tells her to do, even if it physically destroys her. How could I ever hold a candlestick to a girl that's so flawless? She does things I am too afraid to do. And if I'm not willing to do it, a trip to the strip club or elsewhere will fix that right up. Or will it? I never thought I would be so worried about getting married. I want to be married. I want to have kids and a happy home. But I do not want to be betrayed. Or abandoned. Or have something so fake be put above me. I am already hurt by the possibility because chances of meeting someone who has saved himself or not viewed pornography are so slim they are little to none. I am not saying they are impossible, for all things are possible with Christ. But sometimes it feels like my odds aren't very high.

This letter is a plea. A plea to men. To the men who have wives - I have given you evidence to not view pornography. You have a wonderful wife that God gave you - why would you treat her such? There is a big chance she gave you her everything...and now it is time your body is hers, and only hers. To young men who have yet to have wives but perhaps have girlfriends or are struggling - please turn away from temptation. Pull a Joseph and flee! Flee from sin and run into the arms of God. You will save your future wife/girlfriend so much grief if you choose not to act upon your sinful desires. To fathers - encourage your sons. Please, oh please fathers, encourage your sons. Encourage your sons in the way of the Lord. Encourage your sons to save their minds and their bodies for their future wives. Some of you fathers have daughters. How would you feel if you find out your little girl couldn't stand a chance against a glowing screen? How would you feel if your daughter felt forced to sexually exploit herself because the world tells her that is the only way she can keep him around?

William M. Struthers writes, "Pornography thus enslaves the viewer to an image, hijacking the biological response intended to bond a man to his wife and therefore inevitably loosening that bond." Bonds are broken. Relationships are torn to shreds or put under strain because of something the devil is trying to use to fight against us and fight against God. But I encourage you! Take up your shield and raise your prayers and the Bible up and fight off such temptations! For the Lord is strong and he will fight for you (see Exodus 14:14). 

1 John 4:8 says, "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." We are called to love one another, men and women alike. And when we choose to give into sexual temptation and let satan run ramped we are choosing not to love. Not to love wives. Not to love one another. Not to love girlfriends or someone's daughter. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Men love your women. Love your wives. Your girlfriends. Your future wives. Your future girlfriends. Love them enough that it prevents you from allowing temptation and struggle to enter into your life.

This is a call to arms. A call to fathers and sons and uncles and husbands and boyfriends. A call to young men and boys and old men who have walked the earth for many years. A call to defend the Lord's word and yourselves from satan's desperate attempt to tear our world limb from limb. Kick satan's butt. Scream at him and tell him you know love and will not fall into his ways! Resist. Flee. Run from temptation, take up your cross and follow the Lord desperately.

Signed,
The Girl Who Was Chosen By A Man 2000 Years Ago



"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." - James 4:7

The Yoga Pants Epidemic

I go to a Christian college currently, and for some reason, one of the most talked about topics is yoga pants or leggings. Should girls wear them? Should they not? Should they be banned? Are they...appropriate? These questions seem to follow me everywhere, so it's forced me to sit and think about this whole "yoga pants" or "leggings" epidemic. Apparently, this is a big topic we should all be concerned with, since it is making such a huge impact upon our planet (insert sarcasm here). Here at my school, half the school is pro-yoga pants and the other half is anti-yoga pants; there are even young men on this campus that tell the girls that if they are going to wear yoga pants over to the boys' dorm, to just not come at all because it's "too much of a struggle". Like I said - it's constant. And while this is continually a topic, I can't help but want to slap someone in the face every time it comes up, mostly because those conversations are absolutely ridiculous. Now don't get me wrong, I am all about modesty. I think a woman's body should be treasured and looked upon with beauty and not lust, but I don't believe that we should suddenly try and hide a woman's body just because it can be a struggle not to look at it. And deep down, I think most men generally know that it doesn't matter what a girl is wearing - they are still going to look. But here is what really aggravates me about this topic...it's not in the Bible. Yoga pants are not mentioned anywhere in the Bible.

I went on a missions trip to Haiti last February, and I got to see what life was like in a third world country. And just last night I watched a film titled the Boys of Baraka, all about boys in Baltimore, Maryland that had the chance to go to Africa for a boarding school to help them get into high school. An estimated 44 children every hour die in Haiti, and 1 in 10 children in Haiti will die before the age of 5. In Baltimore, Maryland, a group of about twenty or thirty boys attended a school meeting and were asked if they had ever been suspended - everyone raised their hand. One young man said he had been suspended 8 times - that year. One of the parents in the movie Boys of Baraka said: "When you send your kid to a Baltimore school, you send them to jail." They basically think that jail is the kids' only option because that's how bad their situation is. When the kids in Baltimore see a fire happening down the street or there is a huge group of cops gathered around people, they don't bat an eye. "Oh, it's normal to see a person's house being burned to the ground." "Oh last week we saw a 17 year old kid get shot in front of our apartment." "My dad shot my mom in the leg so he can't take care of me because he's got 13 years in jail." "My mom is addicted to cocaine." In Haiti there are swollen bellies from lack of food, moms crying because their babies are dead, children dying of starvation and diseases. In Baltimore, Maryland kids are getting shot and getting into drugs early and most of them may not even make it out of middle school - for the majority, high school is unlikely.

And here we are, discussing yoga pants.

Is yoga pants biblical, or is it biblical to be taking care of widows and orphans? To be taking care of the people I have just described above?

And yet, here we are, discussing yoga pants.

Because suddenly, yoga pants and modesty is a bigger issue then dying kids and struggling parents.

James 2:14-17 says, "What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless." This is a call to action - do not sit idly by and discuss yoga pants, when you could be doing something that actually changes the world - something that could change a person's life forever.

Matthew 5:42 says, "Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow." We are asked constantly by our churches and the people around us to help the poor and needy, but we turn our noses up and say we "don't have time". Except we do have time; we just choose to not use it wisely. Your "time" could save someone's life if you allowed it to.

Romans 15:1 says, "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." We need to come alongside the people that surround us, the people like the Haitians I encountered and the young people in Baltimore, Maryland. There are people everywhere in need; there are orphans and widows wherever we turn; there are struggling families and starvation no matter where we are.

And yet, here we are, talking about yoga pants.

So my proposition for you is next time you are debating yoga pants or leggings, perhaps it's time to put off that conversation and deal with more biblical issues. 

The Disobedience of a Child

For part of my junior year and all of my senior year of high school, I had the opportunity to help out in a second through fourth grade classroom (shout out to the amazing Mrs. Teachout). There were eighteen loud, joyful, crazy, sweet and loving children that I got the pleasure of meeting and spending time with. Each one was unique and special in their own perfect way. I loved every second I got to spend with those kids, and it will always be something I treasure deeply. Though as much as I adored the kids, there were some times when things would go south. I remember once I had to scold a second grader for using a swear word; another time I had to spend half an hour trying to coax a child out of the bathroom...they had decided they wouldn't come out until it was time for lunch - cheeky monkey! Another time a little girl called her younger brother stupid; I remember asking him if that hurt his feelings. His reply? "Nahh...she's stupid too." I love kids, and I love working with them, but I can't help but face this fact: they can sometimes be disobedient.

As I sit here thinking about the disobedience of a child, I have to wonder...are we, God's kids, disobedient little children too? We are called to care for the poor and the widowed, to look after and love others and praise the Lord and spread the Gospel, but how often do we actually do that?

This past week at my school, it has been World Outreach Week, and we have had missionaries from all over the world, from small villages in Africa, to China and Europe and the States. God was working everywhere, and it was brilliant to see. But during that time, I remember a missionary sitting down with me and discussing missions. During the time I was listening to him, he offended two people, cussed a few times and he had probably the coolest mustache ever - I liked him instantly, because he was honest. He looked at my friends and I and said: "This stuff about 'God's call' is silly. God presents you with an opportunity, and you take it. And maybe you don't want to, or maybe you do. But you do it anyway, because we are called to obey the Lord." He then proceeded to tell us that as we walked through our lives, we were either doing one of two things: leading people to Christ, or leading them away from Him.

Did you hear that? Did you read what I said? We are supposed to obey the Lord. Our greatest purpose on this earth is to spread the Gospel to anyone and everyone and to praise God. I feel like so many times we get caught up in other things about "Christianity" and "religion" and certain acts, like how passionately we worship or if we have any spiritual gifts and if we are being "good" people. News flash... None of that matters. Is worship your life? Has worship or going to church or being apart of a religious group become such an idol that we forget our true purpose in life? Have we become so distracted by  wanting to have spiritual gifts or do something great or be apart of something or be a "good" person so badly that we let it get in the way of the Holy Spirit working in the lives of others? We are either leading people to Christ or dragging them away based on what we do and how we react and how we decide to spend our time. So why do we get ourselves so caught up in other things instead of doing what God has ultimately called us to do? Yeah, I think those things can be important, but I've noticed that we can become so obsessed about that stuff that we forget about that Jesus guy and his pretty sweet Father that chose us over everything else. How disobedient little children we are... How very disobedient that we would worship the resources The Lord has given us rather than Him.

There's a passage in Matthew that says:

"They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven." Matthew 23:5-10

We get so caught up in these things and wanting to be noticed, that we forget why we were put on this Earth and what God has actually called us to do. We aren't supposed to want recognition, because in that we are disobeying the Lord and saying: "No, God, we can worry about them later. But right now I just want to feel happy and good and nice - and besides, I'm doing it all for you anyway." We let ourselves and our own feelings get in the way of the Holy Spirit and that breaks me up inside and hurts every bone in my being. Who are we to tell God that we're cool worshiping Him because it makes us, selfishly, feel good about ourselves but that's more "important" than spreading the Gospel and saving people and praising the Lord unselfishly? We become so distracted and enraptured by the flashy, that we forget spreading the Good News isn't supposed to be flashy, but humbling.

We are such disobedient little children, so much so that we use things the Lord has given us as excuses and distractions from bringing people to Him. We kid ourselves into thinking that we're all doing these things for God, when really doing those things and being blinded by them for our own selfish reasons is causing us to be disobedient and forget that we should be bringing people to the Father.

So stop being arrogant about all these tools God has given you. Stop getting distracted. Get your head on straight and recognize that we have great things to do for The Lord to glorify and obey Him, and we should joyously be doing those things in abundance. We are supposed to be harvesters, not lazy employees that just sit around shouting encouragements and feeling good about ourselves until every once and a while we decide: "hey maybe I should spread the gospel today!" Be a harvester - reap the field, and do the work you were created to do! Don't ignore it and forget your purpose here. If you are the one standing in the way of a person coming to Jesus, that puts you in the Lord's way as well, and we should be fighting with Him, not pushing against Him.

Matthew 28:19-20 says:

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

So go and make disciples and praise the Lord.

A Letter of Love

I am a sinner. It's not a question; it's not an idea; it's a fact. I am a sinner. I'm a sinner and I don't deserve Jesus dying on the cross for me. I don't deserve the Lord of all creation choosing me and pulling me out of this wretched darkness. I look at myself and realize that I am not a "good" person. By wordly standards, I may appear to be. I've been to Tijuana, Mexico, spent the summer of my sophomore year living with a missionary family (shout out to the amazing Ward family) in a small town only a couple of hours from La Paz, Mexico, traveled to Haiti to spend a couple of weeks in the mountains to help the people there, worked as a VBS and middle school leader; I don't drink or do drugs; so does that really make me a good person?

Some of you may be nodding your heads yes, but I am swiftly shaking my head no. No, I'm not actually a good person. R.C. Sproul said: "Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once and He volunteered." The only "good" person to ever walk the face of the earth died 2000 years ago on a cross for people who did not deserve it. I am not a good person...I am a sinner. But. But I was chosen.

One day, the Lord sent His only son to Mother Earth, and so it was that true and perfect love was born in a stable, in the form of a sweet, precious baby that was destined to die for you and I - the picture of unworthiness. And so I was chosen. You were chosen.

And suddenly, an epic pursuit began.

No longer are we alone, being pursued by nothing but people, who come and go as they please and stop pursuing after they get tired or bored or settled. So He chases desperately after us, until we finally turn around and allow Him to slam into us so hard that His love echoes throughout our every cell and we can't help but be enraptured by it. Every bad thing, every debt, every mistake, every terrible late night decision, every rude word, every feeling of self-loathing, every moment of weakness, is wiped away by God's letter of love: "I have sent my one and only Son to die for you; to take away your sins. I have sent my one and only Son to die so that we could have no barriers between us. I have sent my one and only Son because I love you so much that I would give up anything to be with you. I have sent my one and only Son in a relentless pursuit of you."

Psalm 23:6 says: "Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever."

God loves you. God found you. God pursued you. And God will never stop pursuing you. How's that for true love?

UN-thankful

Ahhhhh November...fall leaves blowing about the road, Winter whispering of it's slow return, turkeys, football, blustering winds and gorgeous colors. I love November; it's easily one of my most favorite months, that is, if somebody could have a favorite month. Despite my list depicting November, I left one thing out of it: thankfulness. November is the month of thankfulness. Seeing as Thanksgiving is during late November, some genius person decided to make the entire month about being thankful. Hence, November is now the month of thankfulness. I like this idea a lot - an entire month dedicated to being thankful about things; talk about brilliant! While we can probably all agree that we like the "thankful month" and like talking about what we're grateful for, how come we are so positively un-thankful?

I love looking on Facebook and seeing everybody posting what they're thankful for on each day of November. I think it's a really sweet idea and it helps people realize all the great things they have in life. Except, when it comes to the rest of the year, how come things that we're thankful for are never talked about? Not only that, but how come (during the rest of the year and even during November) almost 100% of our time isn't spent rejoicing and being glad for what we have, but whining and complaining about what we don't have?

For example, I am thankful for getting to scoop dog poop. Now, don't take this the wrong way and think I'm thankful for dog poop...no, that's not what I mean! I'm thankful for getting to scoop dog poop because it means that I have the dog I truly love. Or, I'm thankful for slow drivers. Not because they're plain slow (because let me tell you, I can be super impatient sometimes!), but because they remind me to slow down and take a breather. Or another great example, I'm thankful for chewed shoes; not because they were chewed, but because I had a sweet Bernese to chew them. Things that seem like they should be complained about, can actually be rejoiced about!

Now take a look at your life. You say: "My husband never does this or that and he's just not contributing to our relationship" or vice versa. Or maybe you say: "I just don't feel like going to work today...I hate my job". Or perhaps (and here's a common one): "I hate school". Or even, "My kids just never listen to me". Those are all classic "whines" that we, as people, use on a regular basis. Now, I'm not going to deny that I never say these things, because I can assure you, I'm just as sinful as the next gal. Those are some of my favorite whines! But, they're wrong to whine about. You complain about your husband and after ten, fifteen years of marriage and you want a divorce because you have spent too much time being un-thankful for what you have. Maybe it's time to think about how nice it is that you even have a spouse to help you raise your kids and provide for you. Did you know that throughout the world, hundreds of children are being raised by single, poor mothers that would love to have a husband to help them? Crazy to think that you may be kicking your husband out, when another woman is desperately trying to get a husband. Same things go for husbands that think their wives aren't contributing. Or you say you hate your job, but hundreds upon thousands of people don't have jobs and can't provide for themselves or the ones they love. Who are we (me included) to complain about work when others don't even get the opportunity to fill out a job application? And then we sit and complain about school, but at least we get to go to school. If you go onto World Vision and search through the children to support, nearly every one will say that the child is currently not in school. Why? Because they don't get that opportunity like we do. And we complain and complain and complain about how our kids aren't listening to us when perhaps just across the street from you a woman just found out she will never be able to have children of her own. Since when did we become so selfishly ungrateful? What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday? Then what would life look like for you?

God didn't die on the cross so we could whine and complain and be un-thankful. Nope, definitely not! We have so many opportunities here on Earth, yet we decide to spend tons and tons of time complaining about the things we have. Paul was thankful for a jail cell and suffering...but we can't even be thankful for a comfy bed and a roof over our heads. Little children in Africa are thankful for a single pair of shoes or a deflated soccer ball, and we can't be thankful for fifty pairs of shoes or ten autographed, perfect soccer balls. God didn't create us to be whiners, but thankers! November shouldn't be the only month that we're thankful in...we should be thankful all the time, any time, about anything!

The Bible says: Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

That text right there commands us to be thankful in all circumstances, because this is God's will. This means that no matter what is going on, and what we want to whine about, that we should be thankful anyways. If we started counting our blessings instead of our "don't haves", don't you think we'd be a lot happier? Every time I get in a funk and start to feel depressed, my mom always sits be down and makes me say (out loud) what I'm thankful for. In a matter of minutes - sometimes seconds - both of us are smiling and laughing and I am feeling perfectly fine. So don't just post on Facebook in the month of November about what you're thankful for - shout to the heavens everyday of your life what you're thankful for.

So what are you thankful for?

Lazy, Baby

It's an everyday sort of problem - I don't even think we go a day without doing it. Sometimes that's all we are, and other times, we just choose when to be it. Most of the time, we make the conscious decision to do it - to become it. What exactly am I talking about? Well, I'm talking about being lazy. Everybody struggles with laziness; in fact, I don't know a single person that doesn't struggle with it at some point in their life. Some of us out there try to fight laziness, whereas others just accept it and become lazy. Yet, there are different forms of laziness. The first form is just being generally lazy. For example, not cleaning your house, ignoring homework, trying to worm your way out of responsibilities, etc. The second form is where we're too busy being lazy that we let our flesh (our sinful nature) get the best of us - I'll talk more about this later. God hates laziness, did you know that?

After spending my entire life in the ministry, I've become attune to laziness. It's something that now stands out to me (and which I have also participated in). Again, I'm not talking about being lazy like cleaning things up or just wanting to sit around; I'm talking about spiritual laziness. Spiritual laziness so undeniably prominent, it almost hurts. So what exactly is spiritual laziness? I'll give you three examples of things that I've learned and things that I've observed.

Not reading your Bible is a part of spiritual laziness. So often times we are "too tired" to read our Bible, but we're perfectly okay to go read a book or watch a movie or even go hang out with friends. We're willing to go to work, hang out with people or spend time as a family, but as soon as it comes to reading ones Bible, suddenly God hits the bottom of the list. How dare we put God at the bottom of the list after all He's done? Satan tries to trick us into thinking that reading our Bible is exhausting, but really, it's not. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I used to struggle with this type of laziness - I still do sometimes. I used to say that I was "too tired" or just "didn't feel up to it", and I was being unbelievably sinful when I was doing that. Talk about stupidity on my part!

The second type of spiritual laziness is serving. Where I live, people would rather shove their money in your face then actually do it themselves. This means that they'd rather give you their money to hire somebody, then to actually commit to the work themselves. Sure, they may have good paying jobs, but that doesn't mean they can't serve. When we don't serve, we're throwing all that Jesus did back in God's face. We're saying that Jesus was strange, and that his work was so lowly we wouldn't even dare think about doing the same thing. Jesus went and hung around with dumb sheep boys and obnoxious sailors; he sat with crazy children and poured his wisdom into fools. Why does it seem so hard for us to do the same? We don't want to help set up church on Sunday mornings because "we've got no time" or we don't want to be a leader in VBS because "we've got too much going on" and we can't help out in the youth groups because "kids just aren't our thing". But God calls us to be servants, so we must abandon that spiritual laziness, take up our cross and follow him.

The last type of spiritual laziness is commitment. For example, people say they want to "help", but they never want to commit. They say they want to serve or they want to have a stronger relationship with God, but for some reason, they let satan talk them into believing that they just can't commit to it yet. Or they can't make it to church on time because it's "too early", even though it's at ten in the morning and they're up for school by five. Or they sit and complain about how bad the church (or youth group, or worship band or children's ministry or bible study) instead of trying to help the church out. I used to sit and complain about how I just didn't like my youth group very much, till I realized that this world is not mine, that youth group is not mine, and I am not going to let my sinful flesh get the best of me. I'm on this earth for God, which therefore means that I need to commit to my church and my Jesus. It means that I need to be supportive and offer up my services and commit to whatever I do. "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Psalm 16:3 is what the Bible says, so why do we always try to be so flighty? We need to buckle down, stick with where God's got us and invest, instead of allowing satan to run our lives.

The Bible says, 

"A lazy life is an empty life, but “early to rise” gets the job done." Psalm 12:27

We are not meant to be lazy. We are meant to be alive and on fire for Jesus! This means we should be spending time with him as much as possible for as long as possible. It means serving in his name, because we get to serve. It means committing to following him, supporting his church and being more like him. Being lazy isn't any fun; actually, it's kind of exhausting. So stand up and stop sitting around being lazy. It's hard to see the whole sunset, when you can't peek over the mountain.

A Broken Trust

My title seems like it's going to be sort of deceiving, doesn't it? "A Broken Trust" - what's that supposed to mean exactly? It sort of seems like maybe I am about to start ranting about how someone broke my trust or something, but that's not what this is about at all. So, take those ideas and shove 'em far far far away, because we don't need them! Although, this blogpost is about trust, just perhaps not the kind that would first come to your mind when you hear the word.

I have a friend, and saying she is incredible and wonderful and absolutely the greatest person on the entire planet wouldn't do her justice, because she is so much better than that. Every time I get together with her, I am blown away by just how unique and amazing she is - literally, blown away. I really am blessed that God put her in my life, because there aren't even words to describe my thankfulness. She is a beautiful godly woman and constantly manages to teach me something new. But, this has to do with trust, not just me getting to brag about an amazing friend! Anyway, let's get to our story.

I ended up getting the opportunity to hang out with this girl recently (which was fantastic, by the way), and as we were talking we got into a more serious conversation about our lives. She was telling me a story about when she had been going through a difficult time and how instead of just sitting around and wallowing, she decided to sit down and pray - yes, pray. Isn't it weird how often times, our first reaction isn't to pray, but to have a pity party? So, I asked her what happened when she prayed, and she said, "I was just asking God what I should do, and all of a sudden, clear as day, He said 'trust me'." Trust me. Trust me. Trust me, God, the Father, your Lord. You know what she told me after that? She said that she would trust God, because He had asked her to. How easy she made it seem - or how easy it actually was.

Sometimes it's hard to trust God...or rather, it's hard to allow Him to have the steering wheel in our lives. We constantly feel as if we know best and that we could write a better story for our lives than He could. Unfortunately, that isn't true. I personally know exactly what it feels like to have a broken trust between God and I, and I can honestly tell you that the broken trust wasn't initiated by God, but by me. Sometimes I struggle with trusting God, because I worry about whether or not He'll do what I want most. I worry that, perhaps, God doesn't entirely know what I want and that He might not give me specifically these things. Or other times, I get worried that He is going to shake up my world and change my plans, something which is really hard for me to understand.

Recently, I thought I had all these plans. I was running around like crazy with a broken trust between God and I, because instead of trusting Him to make my life beautiful, I was trusting myself. Want to know what trusting yourself gets you? A few bumps and bruises and tears. Want to know what trusting God gets you? A wonderful life full of ease and happiness. Those seem very different when you compare them that way, don't they? Which is why I say to you, fix your broken trust between yourself and the Creator. He knows - knows - the plans that He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11), and that is something we need to trust in. Butting in and changing things throws around God's trust like an old shirt you're too lazy to hang up - crazily and constantly. God told my friend to trust Him, and she did...instead of her life turning to shambles, she went through the rough patch but came out better before, instead of going through a constant battle if she would've just trusted herself. Whatever happens (or is happening) in your life, whether good or bad, trust God, because he ultimately knows the plan.

Trust God. Don't trust yourself. Sometimes satan tries to trick us by telling us we know best, when really, we don't know that much at all. Sure, we may know a couple of cool facts, but not all of those combined can compare to what God knows. If you have a broken trust with God, perhaps it's time to fix that once and for all, and gain the life God has originally planned for you.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which paths to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

Concerning Hobbits

Somehow, no matter what mood I happen to be in - whether happy, sad, angry, etc. - Lord of the Rings always seems like a good idea. In honor of some of my close best friends, my love for all things Hobbit-y and my dear sweet father, I have decided to write a blogpost "concerning Hobbits". Now, you might be wondering why I could be writing a blogpost on Hobbits and how on earth it is going to somehow translate into a spiritual lesson. Well, don't you fret my good friend, because there are spiritual lessons in everything - even in Hobbits.

The word "humility" is related to the word "humus", which means "dust" or "earth". Thousands of years ago, a humble person could be seen bowing at the feet of someone great, causing them to be close to the ground and "in the dust". In the Bible, a picture of this is painted when Jesus washes the feet of the disciples in a "bowing" manor, close to the ground and in the dust. In the earlier years, the lower you bowed - the closer to the ground you got - the more humility and respect you had for the person you were bowing to. Sort of like how in the Bible times, when one was praying they laid face down in the dirt, because they were offering up respect and humility towards the Lord.

Did you know the average height of a Hobbit is three foot six inches? I bet you didn't, but now you do. That seems awfully tiny, doesn't it? It seems awfully...close to the ground. Hobbits are small folk and often called "half-lings" because of their stature. One of the greatest lessons we can learn from Hobbits is how to be humble. These little creatures portray humility more than any other person or creature in all of Middle-Earth, giving us a clear picture of how "humus" is displayed. At first, it makes no sense as to why Tolkien would send such a small creature into Mordor, full of darkness, danger and death. It also makes no sense as to why Gandalf would ask a Hobbit to come on an adventure with him to go fight off a dragon with only rowdy dwarves as companions. Why, pick creatures so small? Why would Gandalf pick beings so unable to stand up and declare their territory, instead of elves or men? Because they are humble and close to the ground.

Hobbits do not fancy themselves as equals to the mighty people of Middle-Earth. They want nothing to do with wild wizards, the insane deeds of men and the ancient and wondrous elves; they prefer to be left in their homes; homes that are created beneath the "earth". For example, in the beginning of The Hobbit, Tolkien begins describing a hole. "In a hole, in the ground lived a Hobbit..." - here, we see the humble Hobbit living in a humble home. How often do we bury ourselves in humility and hide away to spend some time with God, just as the Hobbits hide away for peace?

If you have ever watched Lord of the Rings or read the books, perhaps you wonder why the Ring affects almost anyone around it, but hardly affects the Hobbits. Well, that is because the Hobbits do not think themselves as anyone or anything special. They see no extravagance in the way they live; they see no reason to be vain, unlike the elves that are pristine and the men that constantly seek power. The Hobbits, seek nothing. They live to enjoy their simple lifestyles with what they have, instead of fighting for something they do not need. How often we as humans fight for something we do not need, instead of investing our time into something we do need (God)?

Sometimes it's a little hard to be humble - no, often times it's really hard! When we serve, sometimes we want every single person to know the good we're doing, because we think we must brag about our goodness. When really, everything we do is to be done not out of vain, but out of humility and servitude. Do you think Frodo decided to take the Ring to Mordor because he wanted to be lifted up and exalted? No! Frodo took the Ring to Mordor because he was willing to sacrifice his own life in humility; to save the ones he loved. Want to know who did the same thing? Well...Jesus did, that's who. When he performed miracles, he didn't boast about his abilities; instead, he passed like a ship in the night pretending that he was just an ordinary man.

So who are you? Are you a Hobbit or a Saruman? Do you bow before the Lord and serve out of humility? Or do you stand before God and brag about all the "good things" you're doing? Perhaps it's time to ask God for a little less bragging and a little more humility. And maybe, it's time to be a little more like Jesus and a little less like satan.

"Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4

Legit Courage

Courage: to be valiant (brave)

It has come to my special attention that lately, courage is a thing that is constantly talked about. Courage. Yes, courage. It's not as if courage hasn't been a topic of conversation before (for courage is often talked about). What people consider to be "courageous" nowadays isn't really courageous; not only that, but what God considers to be true courage isn't anywhere near what we (in the 21st century) have decided is courage. So, I've decided it was high time for us to take a look at the different forms of courage there are. I would like to share two stories with you - both are fictional - and I would like you, as the reader, to decide for yourself which is truly courageous...and not by your standards, but by God's standards.

Story #1:

This was it. This was the day that I knew was coming. This was the day that I had been warned about when I got onto the plane to go to the darkest part of China. I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it'd come so soon...so fast and violently. Though I suppose I've known from day one that this sort of thing, was going to happen one way or another. But God told me to go to China, and to China I would go. It had been my dream since I was just a boy to travel the world, but only a month ago had God told me to travel the world and share His Good News. When I found out what He wanted me to do, it was like a door had been open and a burst of light streamed into the room, landing directly on me. It was as if the veil had been lifted and I could see clearly, after all this time in the darkness. So, I followed God's orders and went to China.

I had been told by many people that my trip could be dangerous, and I always responded, "Maybe so, but letting people go to hell would be dangerous too." My trip started out fairly well. I made friends in China; I preached the Gospel. Until one day, when all of that changed. I had been on my way to an underground church when I was grabbed by soldiers. They shouted at me, telling me that I had offended the government by preaching my "false learnings" to their people. I said nothing...because saying something would be wrong. In that moment, God somehow kept me quiet, despite my usual flaming temper. One second the men were yelling at me, and the next, everything went black.

The day I died, wasn't a sad day. Yes, I suppose some of it was indeed very sad. It would be hard on my family, once they received a letter from the underground church stating that I had been killed as a martyr for the Gospel and for my God. It would be hard on my friends, whom didn't understand why I had felt the need to tell people about the Lord if it could get me killed. So yes, I died a week later from being taken by the soldiers. I was taken to a prison, where I was beaten and yelled at for my faith. After each beating, they would ask me to renounce my faith so that the beating would stop and I could have an honorable death. But each time they asked, I always replied, "Hallelujah! Thank you Lord, for blessing me." Which, never turned out very well. I died of collapsed lungs and blood loss...not a stab wound or a gun shot. The soldiers beat me so hard that my ribs broke and punctured both of my lungs, and had broken my leg so badly they severed a major artery. Upon my deathbed, I didn't feel pitiful, or even sorry for myself; I didn't even regret my decision to come to China. Why? Because I had been courageous in God, and if even only one other person learned about God from me, then that was a victory.

In the story above, we see the short life of a martyr. A young man whom decided to visit China in hopes to preach the Gospel to people that most needed it. But in the end, he was snatched away and murdered because he wanted to stand up for his faith. Because he wanted to stand up for God. I know it's a sad story...and I know it's sad to read. It's sad to imagine someone that went through something so cruel. But to imagine someone so courageous? I don't think that's very hard at all.

Story #2:

I had always had a rough life growing up as a kid. I mean, we were financially well off for the most part. We had no problems paying the bills or anything...and we always had enough money to go shopping. Outside of my home though, life was hard. I would get bullied constantly because people thought I was "different". In the third grade, kids made fun of me because I could draw and even liked to. It wasn't just the fact that I could draw, but what I drew. I liked to draw princesses and unicorns - they were pretty, and you can't blame a guy. That, and they all had excellent taste in fashion. I also got made fun of once, because my uncle came to pick me up one week from the school, and the kids noticed he was a little weird too. They called it "gay". 

Junior high was boring...I had no guy friends, but I had a bunch of girls that were friends. We did everything together, my friend Veronica and I. We went shopping, bought clothes, looked at perfumes, painted our nails. Like I said, we did everything together. In junior high though, things began to change. I knew I was different, I just couldn't wrap my brain around how. Then one day, Veronica and I were sitting together and she asked, "Ben, do you think you're gay?" There was that word again...gay. I just turned to her and asked, "Is gay where a guy likes other guys?" Veronica took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. She said, "Yes, that's what  it is." Had this been what I had been waiting for? A sign to tell me who I was or needed to be? Finally, I answered her. I said, "Yes, I think so."

My freshman and sophomore year of high school were hell in high heels. People made fun of me left and right, because I dressed way too nice and talked a little strange and walked a little feminine. While the boys never seemed to like me (though I really liked them), the girls still loved me more than ever. They said I was easy to be around...they said I was a "package deal" because I was like a girl in boy form. "Best of both worlds" they used to say. I went into hiding in my junior year, because bullies aren't as nice as they used to be. I pretended I wasn't gay anymore, because being gay could be a serious issue in high school. I was about ready to switch schools because the bullying had gotten so bad when something happened. As soon as gay marriage was legalized, the next morning I went to school, everything was different. I saw people I hadn't even know were gay, coming out of the closet and boldly stating who they were. I, of course, participated. I even made some friends in the process!

By the end of all of our gay speeches, the kids and I sat around at a lunch table, chatting about how nice it was for us to all be who we really were. While we were standing about, some freshmen students came up to us, shaking our hands and hugging each one of us. They told us were were brave and courageous for standing up for who we are. I think we're courageous too.

In the second story, we see a struggling boy that eventually comes to the conclusion that he is gay. He is bullied through school and wrestles with who he thinks he might be. In the end though, he stands up for who he is and publicly announces it, along with a few other kids that go to his school. The people around him consider it "courage".

So, which story seems more courageous to you?

I've spent almost seventeen years studying "courage". Not like I'm a psychologist or scientist or something (because I'm not - I'm just some crazy teenager!) studying actual courage...I'm just a people watcher. That, and my most favorite aspect of any movie, is the courage the characters have. For example, take Lord of the Rings and you'll notice courage left and right. I think one of the most perfect examples of courage is Aragorn. No matter what situation he is in, he leads his group of men in courage and bravery and humility. Never once does he back down in fear, nor shut down the bravery, or pull out a pride spirit in place of his humble one. Never once does he do that. You know who else is like that? God.

After looking at the different forms of courage, I have come to a rather disappointing conclusion. We, as humans, aren't actually very courageous. Yes, those soldiers fighting for our country are, and so are the police officers and fire fighters. But, the rest of us? I have a hard time finding any legit courage inside of us...at all. The things we fight for and are "courageous" about, are petty things that won't mean anything in five years. For example, if we as Christians ask public schools to let us pray in them and the school board says no, we decide we need to try to sue the school and be courageous with our beliefs. In all actuality, we are being sinful. Not because we want to pray in the school, but because we feel offended and we want to make these other people pay for their wrongs. Sure, our base line appears strong and for God, but the deeper we dig, the more we notice we aren't really fighting for God, just for our rights as Americans. Or, we think that standing up for who we are (i.e. being gay, being lesbian, having strong opinions, dressing a certain way, acting a certain way, liking specific things) makes us courageous. I have a newsflash for you...that doesn't make you courageous. That, makes you cowardice. Why? Because you are standing up for an idol. You decide you need to worship your idol and stand up for it, because "that's just who you are". Have you ever notice that "just who you are" hadn't occurred to you until you started falling away from God? I have, because that was me once.

Courage isn't standing up for who you are; courage is standing up for who He is. Legit courage is following God every step of the way. Legit courage is believing in Him, despite the lies satan tries to make you belief. Legit courage is telling your friends about God. Legit courage is praying for your enemy, because you know God loves them too. Legit courage is opening your bible out in public, and letting people see you reading it outside of church or your home. Legit courage is, like I said before, standing up for who God is, not for who you are. The second you start being "courageous" about who you are, you become a coward. So pray for courage. Pray for God's legit courage, not for a false form of courage that you think you might understand.

But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. - John 16:32-33

Well thank the Lord and sing me a worship song! God has overcome the world, and through Him we have courage. I guess that makes life, sort of awesome. Praise Jesus!

Addicted

Well, it's nice to finally meet you.

I've been waiting for your call.

I've noticed you've been crying,

And, I've watched you pace the halls.

Whatever has been hurting you,

I can make it disappear.

You know you have nothing to lose, 

Nothing to live for, nothing to fear.

Thank you, for your invention.

I'll be sure not to leave your side.

We'll become very fast acquainted.

My naive child, there's no use trying to hide.

I should probably introduce myself.

I am your very own addiction.

But, you cannot be angry with me.

I am your own self-conviction.

I bet you feel rather stupid,

Falling right into my lap.

I'm a master at manipulation.

You'll never escape my trap.

How does it feel to dance with the devil?

For he and I are one in the same.

You think God has completely abandoned you,

So, you might as well stay in the game.

Are you honestly going to try and beat me?

A useless battle if you want to know.

Go ahead and make an attempt.

Besides, I'm in the mood for a good show.

I guess, you think your special.

But, your sobriety has only lasted a year.

I'm still around every corner,

In the back of your mind

I'm your greatest fear.

I'll always be your dirty little secret.

I won't disappear over time.

Twenty years from now you may falter,

And, I'll be the first thing that comes to mind.

A vicious cycle, that’s what your thinking,

But, I'm only speaking the truth.

I'm satan's weapon of mass destruction.

The silent killer of America's youth.

It's genius when you think of it.

Everyone's looking for satan's war.

But, what the fools don't realize,

Is everyday satan walks through their front door

"The Voice of Addiction" by Carrie Roush

That poem seems kind of depressing sometimes, doesn't it? I can tell you in utter and complete honesty I have read it about a dozen times in only the past few minutes. Want to know how I stumbled upon it? Well of course you do, that's half the adventure! I stumbled upon that poem when I had a very interesting revelation and conviction of my own. Over the past week, I have been staying with a bunch of friends, and I must say it has been a blast, but it's also changed my life and made me recognize things. During that week, all I did was write and play Bioshock (because what else is a girl gonna do with her free time?!) and listen to music. That's all I did. From nine thirty in the morning to two in the morning, the only thing I did was write, with a little bit of Bioshock thrown in here and there. I looked up that poem, because I was beginning to notice that I was getting intensely focused upon my writing.

For all of my dear readers and friends that don't know, my favorite thing to do is write. I write everything, from prayers to journal entries to stories to just random little rhymes that come up in my head upon a whim. Writing is my life. I do it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Oh yeah, and I basically do it all the time! While writing is my passion (and the greatest thing of all time!), sometimes I can get a little insane with it. I don't mean to say that I suddenly start writing bizarre things, I mean to say that sometimes writing comes before other, more important things. Sometimes writing becomes my idol.

In other words, writing becomes my own personal form of heroine - my addiction.

As I look at life, I can't help but notice how many different forms of idolization there are. Too many to count, I can assure you. Do you struggle with idols? Because I sure do. Perhaps you struggle with idolizing sports ("But sports are my outlet!", you say) or you idolize your family or spouse ("My family is my family - idolizing them and my spouse isn't possible; besides, it's a noble thing to want to take care of them." you add), or maybe you idolize your hobbies (for example, I tend to idolize writing) or people or food; perhaps you idolize TV, texting, Facebook, your email or your job. And maybe, you idolize sex, drugs, and alcohol. There are too many things to count; too many idolizing lusts to keep track of. But I can tell you (even if I don't know you), that you most definitely do have an idol. Think I'm wrong? Well guess what! I believe every single person on earth has an idol, even if the idol is a noble thing, such as being brave or taking care of one's family. 

What is an "idol" you ask? I'm glad you asked! An "idol" is whatever can cause you to pick something before and over God. For example, this past week I was choosing to write over seriously doing my devotionals. I just did a little here and a little there, instead of fully investing my time into God. I was giving in to my addiction. Have you figured out what your idol is? Chances are it could be staring you right in the face, which in a way, is sort of sad to imagine. It's almost too easy to find an idol - or six.

If you know what your idol is, what your addiction is, then I really only have one piece of advice to give to you: abandon it. That's right, abandon it. Instead of turning all your time to your addiction, turn it to God, where your time should be devoted. We have so little time on this earth, and knowing that we spent it purely on petty things feels like a slap in the face. So if you have an idol, turn your attention away from the idol and focus it on God, because that's where it should be. Your eyes shouldn't be on your addiction, but on the Creator - the one that gave you hope and love and passion and courage. For some reason we, as humans, focus all of our attention on the beautiful creation around us and the things that this world provides, when really, we're missing out on gazing upon the Creator and getting to spend time with Him. Good gracious, if my dad walked into a room I wouldn't just gaze upon his shirt - I'd gaze upon him, because he's my dad, and just looking at his shirt is ridiculous. It's the same way with idols and addictions. We spend all of our time looking at these objects, instead of looking at the greater picture.

The bible says,

"And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!" Romans 1:25

In our addictions and idols, we trade our true God for a fake God, one that satan uses to drive us away from God and the absolute awesomeness He hones. Basically what I'm saying, is to cast your idols back and instead draw closer to God. Put Him first, instead of things that might not mean anything in the next couple of years. You know what also happens when you put God first instead of your addictions? A sense of freedom. You are cut loose from satan's noose, and put into a world where people walk free. Don't take that for granted and mistake satan's slavery from Jesus' freedom.

I told you that I had an "addiction" to writing. And I most definitely do. But you know what? When I realized that I did, I was in the middle of writing a story I had been working on nonstop for days. Guess what the first thing I did was? Put down my story, pick up my bible and go in for a long read and spend some time in prayer. I can tell you with the most passion I can muster, that that was much more worth it, then working on a story. Talk about freedom.

I used to imagine it was hard to be free

That hopelessness and wandering were all You had for me

I had these addictions.

I had these convictions.

I had these idols, that whispered in my ear.

I used to listen; I could always hear.

But then one day, things changed. 

I grew up; You rearranged.

You tore down my chains.

Took away all of these pains.

I had been trapped and torn.

Full of wounds and all but worn.

I had these addictions.

I had these convictions.

But You came and rescued me.

I am no longer bound; I am completely and totally

FREE

Identity Theft

Sometimes I really hate watching TV. Sometimes I hate listening to music. Sometimes I hate going onto Facebook. Sometimes I hate reading books, and reading is my most favorite thing to do. I'm not saying that I specifically hate each and every one of those things, I'm saying that I hate doing them (i.e. watching TV, listening to music, etc.). Not because they're bad or sinful - because they're not - but because of what can come from them. Because in every book, in every song, in every show and movie and in nearly every single Facebook post, there is something to do with identity.

Have you ever noticed that you're searching for a group to belong to? For example, a person that's really athletic gets put into the "sports" group, and their identity becomes their sport. Or a guy that's artistic and dresses nice gets put into the "gay" group because he isn't interested in four-wheelin' and basketball. Or an accidentally flirty girl gets put into the "sex" group because she seems ditzy and floozy; and so on and so on. And eventually these "stereotypes" and "groups" don't become groups or stereotypes anymore, but instead they become one's identity. Kind of like how when a duck and a beaver get cozy, they aren't just a duck and a beaver anymore, they're a platypus. I'm not saying that having an identity is wrong, because our identity is what makes us who we are. But it's what your identity is in that effects the way you live.

I'm a Pastor's Kid, so a lot of people tend to stereotype me into the "Preacher's Daughter" group. In the world's view, I can either go off the deep end and be all Footloose style, or I can be that weird little girl with her forty cats that runs around her house singing "Jesus Loves Me". That's where people expect my "identity" to be. And there was a time that I believed I would be one of those two things, because sometimes when your identity is set out for you by others or what you think "suits" you, you start to believe it.

I once knew a person that was really fantastic; brilliant, even. I thought they were pretty cool, and they were. But they started getting stereotyped into this group, and eventually they decided that they actually liked that group, so that group became their identity. And let me tell you, it wasn't a good identity. It had no bragging rights; it certainly didn't sound nice, and it definitely wasn't right for them. Do you ever have problems like that? Have you put yourself in a group where your identity is something worldly? Because when that happens, your identity gets warped and gnarled. Suddenly your "identity" seems pretty ugly. Or perhaps your hobby suddenly becomes your identity; your soccer team isn't just a couple of nights of week to blow off some steam and have fun, but something you poor your soul into when you should be pouring your soul into your faith.

While having identity in worldly things is bad, there is an identity that is actually good (believe it or not!). That identity, is your identity in Christ. We aren't of this world! We are part of God's world; we are part of a great, eternal thing with a master that blazes brighter than the most magnificent star. We aren't part of this world, yet we try to force ourselves into unhealthy and unwise identities of this world. We aren't supposed to have identities in sports, jobs, people, things, ideas or culture; our identities are supposed to be in God, and God alone. 

Making up excuses yet? "But I love my job; it's what I do with my time!" "This group is just so much more accepting... I know they go against what God says, but I'd rather be with them!" "This guy is just so perfect." "Soccer and football is where I devote my time; it's just who I am." Excuses excuses! Those are hobbies, not your identities. God should be your one and only true identity and not your hobby, because through Him and only Him, are we no longer zombies walking around in an already dead world; we are renewed and brought back to life. We need to be the poison to our worldly identities, not the medicine that only makes them take over our lives more and more.

Did you know that satan could use your worldly identities? Oh yes, he's pretty clever like that! He takes things that can distract us and pull us away from God and manipulates them against us. He tries to be our identity theft, when really God should be the one stealing away our identity. He uses whatever he can get, to bring us down. He tried to use my Pastor's Kid status to either get me to go AWOL, or to get me to be a failure in my faith. But guess what? I'm not going to let him win, so neither should you! Take hold of your life and put your identity in God. Don't put your identity in something that will disappear in the next few years and mean nothing in the Kingdom of Heaven.

So what's your identity in?

"For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes." Galatians 3:26-27